


The Answer

by MurderBaby



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: And what I don't care about is the new manga stuff, Canon compliant until I stop caring, Canon-Typical Violence, Killugon - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Nonsense, Other, Post 2011 AU, Pre book 7, Think of this as my Post book 6, Weep babies, if you will, smooches
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-06-10 02:16:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6933967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MurderBaby/pseuds/MurderBaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Killua and Gon realize their true feelings at the exact worst time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Question

**Author's Note:**

> This is my attempt to write a big, AU, post-hiatus, recent manga updates disregarding continuation fic. I imagine I will get a million details wrong/different from how the canon actually goes. But hey, that's half the fun.

"How do you know you're in love with someone?"

Killua had convinced himself he couldn't get drunk. What was alcohol but a watered-down, soporific poison? But, then, he downed at least five bottles of Leorio's cheap, celebratory wine by himself. Now his stomach felt like it was filled with bees, his lungs felt like hot water bottles, and watching the room spin made it hard to sit up straight. He’d been laying on the ragged carpet for the last ten minutes. His words stirred him into action.

He sat up, looking at the room with sleepy, blue eyes.

Leorio, Kurapika, and Zepile said nothing, but did exchange startled, concerned and confused looks, respectively.

\----

Leorio had invited all of his friends out to celebrate finally landing that residency he'd been after for so long. He'd be working with doctors and medical professionals at the most prestigious hospital in the city, and he blew up Killua's phone with invites for the past week.

Killua: You know I'm only 16 right?

Leorio: dont give me that

Leorio: youll be fine, just come. you can bring alluka!

Killua: Absolutely not.

Leorio: kurapika is coming

Leorio: so is zepile

Leorio: my treat, buddy! u dserv it

Killua: Gon?

Leorio: he cant make it :'(  
Leorio: he broke my <3 just like u r. :'''(

Killua: fine

Leorio: fine wut

Killua: I'll be there.

\----

"So, the dummy stood there, like he was going to catch the ball, and not get blown into a million pieces!" Killua said, laughing, and gesturing widely and expansively as the party and the theoretical impact of the beverages he'd imbibed loosened his heart and his muscles.

Leorio and Zepile laughed, but Kurapika's eyes turned serious.

"Was he okay?" Kurapika asked, gravely. Just one cup of wine turned Kurapika so serious and fretful that he nearly burst into raging tears when Leorio knocked over Kurapika's glass early in the evening.

Killua fell backward, howling. He covered his eyes with the back of his arm, and shook with glee.

"He'd used up all of his energy, so he just fell right over on his stupid face!"

Kurapika audibly sighed, "Oh, thank goodness." Leorio wiped tears from his eyes, and reached for the nearest bottle. Zepile's eyes were wide as he considered his young friends' remarkable adventures.

"I guess I might really not be up for this Hunter stuff, after all," Zepile said, with a rueful laugh.

Kurapika turned to him, and shook his head.

"Hunters have to be prepared to work hard, and hold up under incredible danger, but there's Hunters, and then there's Gon and Killua," said Kurapika, grimly.

"Amen," Leorio slurred, slamming the bottle back to the table after taking a long swig. "I don't think I could even call myself a Hunter today if it wasn't for Gon."

Zepile watched as Kurapika's look said more about how true that was than any words could express. Leorio missed the look, as he closed his eyes reminiscing.

"That kid is really something else," Leorio said, his voice heavier and richer with drunken honesty.

The comfortable pause in a conversation between old friends poked a small hole into the wall Killua had built years ago between his heart and his voice.

"Gon's the best person I've ever known," said Killua, simply. The words saw their opening, and climbed through it, seeking the bright light of drunken honesty.

Leorio hummed gently in agreement, and Zepile smiled. Kurapika's eyes narrowed, and he felt something inside freeze when Killua spoke again.

"How do you know you love someone?"

\----

Even after all of these years, Kurapika could never shake his first impression of Killua. Kurapika decided instantly that the boy was dangerous, but Kurapika's heart hadn't been moved by danger in a long time. He reasoned later that it was only natural to feel that way about the heir to a dynasty of assassins, with brutality, talent and intelligence to spare.

Yet the feelings the boy inspired wasn't just of danger. Kurapika had no qualms dealing with dangerous people. People who were depraved, cold-hearted, and immoral made their own twisted sense. Killua was none of these things. Even more disturbingly, Killua at the time felt like nothing at all. It felt like looking into an empty building, or a room with all of the lights turned off. He'd been filled with the ability to murder without hesitation. His inner desires had been pulled out. Squashed down. Smothered with a pillow before it had a chance to live.

Kurapika watched life return to Killua's eyes. He watched as Killua's eyes filled with joy, and now it felt like looking into the soft light of an open window to a well-loved home.

Kurapika immediately knew who Killua was talking about. He pictured Killua's face, open and happy, and knew who that face was for. Knowing who Killua was talking about, even before Killua must have realized it himself, was what made this terrifying.

Kurapika looked at Leorio and Zepile as they considered the young man's words. As Leorio turned to look back at him, Kurapika felt his heart beat faster, trying to escape that terror.

\----

Zepile sat on the couch next to Leorio, with Kurapika sitting in the arm chair, and Killua flopped on the floor. It still felt a little weird acting so casually around Kurapika. Leorio and Killua talked to him like he was just an old friend, but Zepile knew his friends moved in strange and deadly circles. There were few figures in the underworld these days surrounded with more strange things around him than this Kurapika person.

The stoic young man had risen through the ranks of the organized crime family he'd been employed by in almost no time. Soon, it became clear that any business happening in the family's territory was only at this former bodyguard's say so. Also, he was now a big wig in the Hunter's Association, to boot.

Yet here they all were, sitting around and reminiscing like classmates at a reunion. Kurapika gave no outward impression of being anything other than a smart and polite young man. Of course, that was only if you could manage to ignore the two large bodyguards standing outside of the door, just a cry away.

"Kurapika, what do YOU need bodyguards for?" Killua had asked, laughing, while Leorio repeated the question seriously. Kurapika looked embarrassed to be asked about it.

"The boss chastises me if I leave without them."

Zepile had seen Kurapika's embarrassed face, but stopping his examination at the surface wasn't in Zepile's wheelhouse. He understood the skills of a practiced liar. That embarrassment masked the cultivated arrogance of a leader not interested in being questioned.

Now, though, the secretive and serious young man looked at his friend Leorio like he'd just heard something astounding and upsetting, instead of the drunken ramblings of a teenage boy.

"Uh, pretty sure you'd already know if you were, kiddo," Zepile said easily, with his effortless good nature. Zepile laughed, and then felt his laugh gum up into an awkward cough in his throat as Leorio and Kurapika stared at him. Killua nodded, though, and looked serious and thoughtful. 

"So, you've been in love?" Killua asked, his lubricated thoughts passing quickly through his mind and out of his mouth.

Zepile frowned, and looked at Kurapika, who considering him in return like a butcher would a hog. He then looked at Leorio, whose mouth gaped open, frozen, as if the next word would be the trigger to some massive explosive planted right between Zepile's eyes. 

Zepile felt the embarrassment of putting himself on the spot like this, but the kid was asking him a serious question, so he responded seriously. 

"I was engaged to be married many years ago," Zepile said. His eyes fell to the glass in his hand. Leorio was a grown-ass man with a medical degree, yet here he was drinking wine out of a juice glass. Ye here he was, telling his friends a story that he hadn't told anyone else before.

"I met her when I was still working on becoming a potter," Zepile said. He explained how she was the first person to ask him seriously who the fuck he thought he was fooling.

"'Your technical skills are obviously top notch,' she told me, but she knew the truth. 'This is just a copy. I don't mean a replica. I mean...this isn't your work. You are trying to match what already exists so that you'll get praise and accolades,'" Zepile said. His voice had filled with longing, but also with energy. "And she told this to my face, in the middle of a major exhibition of my work I'd earned after a contest at my art academy. But she never let fear, or politeness, get in her way."

Killua pulled up both knees as he sat up straighter on the carpet. He watched Zepile over his crossed arms. Leorio's eyes had turned soft, and Kurapika looked away, out of the window behind them. 

"She was the most impressive artist I'd ever had the luck to know," Zepile continued. "She would combine painting and sculpture with singing and music. She couldn't sing. But you never really understood how beautiful her pieces were unless she accompanied them. She was the bravest person..."

"You were braver just knowing her," Killua said, and Zepile jumped as Killua voiced exactly what he was going to say next.

"That's exactly right," Zepile said. After a pause, his voice dropped. "She made me braver, but it was my cowardice that finally drove her away."

Zepile said nothing more as he pictured the day he watched her pack her very few things - art supplies and clothes - into a small suitcase.

He'd tried, and tried, and tried. He felt like he'd tried everything left to try. His work, emboldened by her love, started to explore his own creative impulses. He produced odd, hard to sell pieces. There were many admirers, but very few with the willingness to spend any amount of money on them. 

"I began to get fed up with all of the pieces," Zepile said. "I remember arguing with her about one piece that she loved, but I just..." He remembered the smash as he sent the piece into the wall. She screamed, not in fear, but in anger at his destruction of his own creation. She told him...

"She told me that she hated me," Zepile said, and actually laughed. Leorio hummed with sympathy, and Kurapika muttered something consoling, but Killua's eyes focused intently on Zepile as he stopped laughing. "Though I know she didn't mean that. But then she said something that was true, and really did hurt. 'You want to destroy who you are, but I love you, not who you think you're supposed to be.'" 

Zepile finished his glass of wine, and leaned over to pour out more. He picked up one of the 5 bottles on the table, none of which had anything left. He stood to walk to the kitchen, looking for more. Killua stood too, without realizing he was doing it. 

"Was she right?" Killua asked, too loud, while swaying gently on his feet.

Zepile leaned over the counter as he shuffled through Leorio's liquor cabinet. 

"Right about what?"

"That you wanted to destroy the part of you she loved?" 

Zepile pulled out a dusty bottle of some cheap something or other, and took a swig. 

"I wanted to destroy her love," he said, over the top of the bottle, looking at Killua, but speaking to the past.


	2. A Video

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got 5 or 6 chapters ready to go. This one feels like my most overwhelming project, but I'm excited to tackle it. Let me know if you have any feedback or thoughts!
> 
> You can also chat me up on my tumblr: murderxbaby.tumblr.com. I post head canons there, too, which are my favorite things to write.

"What are we going to do when those two figure it out?" Kurapika had asked, as soon as he walked in the door this afternoon. Leorio jumped, as he'd been busy fielding a phone call when Kurapika let himself in. 

"How'd you get in here? And what in the hell are you talking about?" Leorio growled.

Kurapika had grown taller, and tended to keep his hair long, and fashionably styled. He wore sharp, expensive suits, and took off sunglasses that probably cost more than a year’s worth of Leorio’s rent. He took a seat in Leorio's only arm chair, Leorio’s favorite seat in the whole house, and crossed his legs with precise motion. 

"Listen, sir, so sorry, my grandmother just died, I gotta go," Leorio said, hastily, and ended the phone call. 

Kurapika rested his hands carefully in his lap, and smiled wryly. "Sorry for making you burn the patented dead grandmother excuse, Leorio."

Leorio huffed, and stood up to shake his friend's hand. Kurapika gave him a stiff, decorous shake. Leorio, still mad, but still not about to let hospitality fall by the wayside, walked to his small kitchen to start the kettle for tea. It was hours before the party was actually supposed to start, so all he had on offer now was some stale tea and condiments. Studying for licensing exams did that to a man. 

As the kettle filled, Leorio huffed, and turned to his young friend. Kurapika sat calmly poking at his phone, like this was a normal and considerate thing to do, rather than a ridiculous way to say hello to an old friend. 

"Why did you feel the need to storm into my home 3 hours before the party starts, Mr. Rat?" Leorio said, using Kurapika's Zodiac title, knowing full well how much it crawled under his skin. 

"Will Killua be coming tonight?" Kurapika asked, turning off his phone, and without responding to Leorio's taunts. 

"I think so, but you know that kid," Leorio said loudly, over the kettle's whistle. He poured the tea and brought it to his house guest. Grudgingly. 

Kurapika looked into his mug of tea like it had the answers he was really looking for, and he was just asking Leorio to humor him. 

"Will Gon be coming?" Kurapika asked, after a pause.

Leorio set his own mug down on the coffee table, and sat on the couch. He narrowed his eyes. 

"Gon can't make it," Leorio said, slowly. He leaned towards his friend, and said with annoyance "Did you really come all this way just to ask me..." Leorio stopped. 

"The two of them....wait, Kurapika, what do you care?"

Kurapika's icy demeanor melted, ever so slightly, and he looked at Leorio. Kurapika was actually blushing. Leorio smirked. Kurapika turned away from Leorio's teasing look.

"Gon and Killua are," Kurapika said, and then trailed off. He took a too big sip of his tea, and flinched at the heat. 

"Kurapika, what are you talking about?" Leorio asked. Kurapika took a long breath. 

"Gon is in love with Killua, and I'm worried what happens when Killua realizes he's in love with Gon, too," Kurapika said in one, long rush. 

"In...love?" Leorio stumbled over his words, and nearly spilled his tea when he grabbed the table.

Kurapika's head swiveled around to look directly at Leorio.

"Leorio, they've been in love since the first day they met, but if they figure it out everything is going to fall to pieces at the worst time,” Kurapika said, snippishly. 

Leorio leaned back, and pressed his hands to his knees. Gon and Killua were the closest things Leorio had ever had to little brothers. He couldn't help but laugh in disbelief. Kurapika's gaze grew steely as Leorio chuckled. 

“Of course they love each other, Kurapika! Just like I love them, and I love you! You're all my dear friends."

Kurapika slammed his mug down as Leorio finished, and Leorio jumped back in surprise.

"Leorio, you're an idiot, but I didn't know you were also blind."

Leorio felt his mind race faster than he could voice the thoughts aloud, but he'd never let not understanding his own mind stand in the way of having his say. 

"Listen, I don't know what you're talking about, but it doesn't really matter. First of all, how are you so certain Gon feels that way? Second, what difference does it make to you what those two feel?"

Taking his time, Kurapika unfolded his legs, and held up the phone in his hand.

"Gon called me yesterday, and told me."

Leorio frowned. "He called you?!" He realized he was more angry that Kurapika was the first to hear this news than he was surprised by the fact. 

"He and I talked on the phone, yesterday, yes." 

Leorio crossed his arms and grumbled. As his thoughts raced into place, he realized his feelings had long since beaten them there. Even though Kurapika was being his normal, ridiculous, thinking-too-much, overreacting self, this felt true. 

"Okay, so let's say you're right. What difference does it make to you? I mean, they're just kids, right, so their hormones are all crazy and whatever, right? What's the harm? Do you have a problem with them because they're both boys, huh? Jeesh, Kurapika, I didn't realize how narrow minded you were," Leorio said, in a rush. He was still losing sight of his true thoughts, and knew this was just blather to get Kurapika's goat while he tried to sort things out.

"I won't even dignify that, Leorio,” Kurapika said, coldly. “The problem isn't that they're young, or that they're boys. It's that they're Gon and Killua," Kurapika finished, his own words also rushing out in a frustrated jumble. 

"Yeah, and?" Leorio said, now still mostly mad at Kurapika. He couldn't even make sense of everything else happening in his mind right now.

"Leorio, I know that you are at best a mascot, and, at worst, a hindrance to the Zodiacs, and the entire Hunter Association, but you did read the final reports the organization produced after the East Gorteau incident, right?"

Leorio shifted in his seat, and crossed his legs petulantly. "I looked at it. You know. I saw the highlights. I had a lot of studying to do at the time, too," Leorio said, in a huff. He stopped, though, when he saw Kurapika's eyes. Kurapika was looking down at his clasped hands. He looked so small, all of a sudden. As if all of his energy had been absorbed inside of him, rather than risk expressing the truth in his heart. Kurapika spoke slowly.

"Gon was able to destroy one of the members of the Royal Guard. By himself. Unequivocally. That's how he ended up..." Kurapika said, then drew in a lungful of air. "That's what inspired you to punch Gon's father in the face, at the very least." 

The anger and hopeless frustration of seeing Gon in that state sat painfully inside Leorio's stomach and chest. He looked at his hands.

"The way Gon looked was the worst thing I've ever seen. Almost as bad as how Killua looked that day..." Leorio said, and covered his eyes with this hands. "Wow, I really am an idiot, aren't I?" 

As Leorio shook his head, he heard Kurapika activate an app on his phone.

"The details on exactly what happened to Gon are sketchy, at best. There's only one living witness," Kurapika said. He handed the phone to Leorio, and gestured for him to press play.

The video on the phone was of some functional, spare room, like a doctor's office. A plain looking table was flanked with two uncomfortable chairs. Into the frame stepped Cheadle Yorkshire, the dog-eared Zodiac council member who'd taken it upon herself to investigate East Gorteau after becoming the new chair of the Association. She sat down, and gestured at the seat across from her. 

Leorio gasped when he saw Killua, of all people, step into frame. The video was in color, but was grainy, and badly lit. Killua's striking features stuck out immediately, though. He looked exactly as bored and irritated as Leorio would assume he'd be in such a situation. Cheadle started talking before Killua had even finished sitting.

"I really appreciate your continued cooperation with the investigation, Mr. Zoldyck," Cheadle said slowly, with her calm voice. "I appreciate how difficult this event was for you, and I want you to know how much I, personally, value the contributions you've made to..." 

Killua interrupted with his snottiest voice.

"Look, I get that this is basically the only way you and your stupid council can save face, so you can save the bullshit. What else did you want to ask me? I am not planning on sitting in this ugly room all day."

Cheadle picked up a pen and notepad from the table.

"Okay, I appreciate an efficient conversation as much as anyone. I will cut to the chase. When Gon Freecs attacked the Chimera Ant, known as Pitou, how did he manage to successfully survive, let alone defeat, the opponent?" Cheadle asked, while her eyes stayed focused on her notepad. 

Watching Killua's face while Cheadle asked this question explained why she desperately avoided his gaze. His eyes turned dark, and he spoke in a low tone, with a dreadfully measured pace.

"He beat the ant's head in until it turned into a blue pulp, and then stabbed the ant through the heart with his own fist," Killua said. Every word was the truth, even though something crucial was also left unsaid. The truth was reflected in Killua's barely contained bloodlust that poured from his narrow eyes. It chilled Leorio down to the bone. 

Cheadle sniffed, awkwardly, and cleared her throat. "Yes, Mr. Zoldyck, we saw what...remained of the ant soldier. What we don't understand is how a mere 14 year old boy was able to do this, and you are the only witness. Even Gon himself didn't..." Cheadle said, but Killua's hand had already reached her throat, his fingernails sharper and stronger than steel. She looked at him, and her brave, intelligent eyes shook with primal fear. 

"You asked him?" Killua said, without showing anger, or fear. He moved with the precision of a young man raised from birth to murder on command, but something even deeper and more powerful compelled his actions now. As soon as the question was asked, two large figures entered the frame, and pulled Killua's hand away from Cheadle. 

The crack of thunder tipped the camera back, and the last thing Leorio saw was Killua's bright blue eyes as he reached towards the lens with fingers crackling with electricity. 

Kurapika grabbed his phone back from Leorio's loosening grip before it fell to the floor.

"That poor kid," Leorio said, with a mixture of pity and rage. Kurapika set the phone on the table, and grabbed his mug of tea. 

"Killua knocked the guards out, and fled the facility before anyone could find out more. Every letter or request the council sends comes back in an unmarked envelope delivered by carrier hawk," Kurapika said. He reached inside his suit jacket, and pulled out a plain envelope. Leorio took it, and opened it over the table. Thousands of tiny pieces of paper fell out. 

"So, Leorio, I am not concerned about Gon and Killua because I spend my days worrying about what teenage boys do with their free time," Kurapika said, finally. "I'm worried because they are two incredibly dangerous Hunters who are accountable to nothing and no one."

Leorio finally caught up with this thoughts. He looked at his friend, truly angry.

"Gon and Killua are our friends. And they deserve our help and support, not us creeping behind their backs like gossiping classmates," Leorio said. 

Leorio stood up. "Now, come on," he said. "I'm having some friends over, now, and we all need a drink. We're going shopping."


	3. A Fact

Killua stood on unsteady feet in Leorio's small living room. He looked taller than he had looked in the video filmed only months before Leorio watched it. Kurapika shifted in his seat, unconsciously, as he watched Killua's head bowed low. His long neck bobbed with the effort of swallowing whatever words were waiting to charge out. Killua's round, childish face had always belied the brutal and efficient young man he was. As he grew from child to adult, Killua's face began to match the sharpness inside. 

Looking at Killua now, though, Kurapika only saw a confused boy. His face transformed while watching Zepile tell his story. His face softened, and his blue eyes widened as Kurapika watched him struggle with something deep inside. He stood there on uncertain legs, and when Zepile returned from the kitchen, Killua walked to the window overlooking Leorio's impressive view of the city. The silence, comfortable only moments ago, now felt oppressive. 

Leorio had questioned how Kurapika could know so confidently that his two young friends loved each other. He still felt astounded by that question. It felt like Leorio asking him to prove the sky was blue. Now as he watched Killua's back, he realized how confused Killua was about his own feelings. 

This confusion did not make Kurapika feel any better than he had hours ago when he stormed into Leorio's apartment. 

Leorio was the only person he could go to with these concerns. Leorio knew the boys, and loved them like brothers, and Kurapika knew Leorio. He was kind beyond fault. He would jealously guard any secrets. He also hoped, he realized, that Leorio had wisdom or insight into any of this. 

Kurapika felt confident and proud of his knowledge. He'd worked hard to attain it, and he never stopped seeking more. Whether it be the facts and figures that defined the world around him, or the theoretical underpinning that arranged those facts into a useful network, Kurapika knew there were few who could surpass his skill in building and cultivating both.

Yesterday, on the phone, Gon's simple words sent Kurapika into a tailspin. He did not know how to respond to such a straightforward question. His knowledge failed him completely. 

\----

"Kurapika, what are you supposed to do when you're in love with someone?"

Kurapika had only been half listening to Gon when he'd tapped the phone to speaker mode. He was more fond of Gon that basically anyone else he knew, but keeping up with Gon's energy and enthusiasm for...everything...was exhausting some days. So, at first, when he heard Gon ask him this question, he responded with vacant affirmations and nods. 

"Kurapika, do you know what I'm supposed to do?" Gon said, his exuberant and sunny voice turning serious and cautious. 

"Do I know what you're supposed to because you're in love with someone?" Kurapika repeated back, shifting papers from his desk to his filing cabinet as he listened to the call on speaker phone. When the words finally sorted themselves out, his head popped up. He gasped loudly. 

"Gon, wait, what?" 

"I don't know what you're supposed to do when you love someone! I mean, you know, when you love them like THAT," Gon said, like it was obvious. And, Kurapika supposed, it was, as he picked up his phone, slammed the button to turn off the speaker, and ran to shut his office door. 

"Gon, you will need to start over for me," Kurapika said, as soon as the door clicked closed. 

Gon did. Gon had always been expressive, and honest to a fault. He spoke of sleep lost, meals left uneaten, confusion, and sadness. Everything about him that made him a vibrant, happy person had gone far away. He spoke to his beloved Aunt Mito about it. 

"She asked me what was missing," Gon said, and paused. 

Kurapika pictured Gon's amber eyes narrowed in serious concentration as he considered the question. His heart softened as his friend spoke honestly to him, but he also felt his palms sweat, and his mouth dry. 

"I told her that I was lonely, even though I was never alone," Gon finally said. "She looked at me, and nodded. She said, 'That makes sense.' Which I didn't understand! I have lots of friends, and I travel all over visiting them." 

Gon had sent Kurapika hundreds of pictures of his travels. He truly must have friends all over the world now. He always looked happy and busy. Kurapika knew full well how looking happy and staying busy could be the best disguise. 

"Mito said that lonely doesn't just mean how you feel when you're all by yourself. It can also mean how you feel when you can't see the person you want to see," Gon said. Kurapika realized how much Gon must have grown. His voice was deeper, and colored with the increasing richness of adulthood. 

"I thought about who I missed, and who I wanted to see," Gon said. He spoke with the momentum of someone setting their deepest, most intimate secrets free, quickly, before the secrets could burrow themselves back into their hiding places in his heart. 

Kurapika asked, but he already knew the answer.

"Who is it?"

Gon laughed. Gon's laughter was warm, and sincere. He laughed at the easy elegance of the answer he was about to share. Even though this must have made his young heart race to think about, or admit. Or at least, it must, right? Kurapika knew that Gon was brave, but even he must have found admitting this hard. 

Right?

"Killua!" Gon said, in a happy, gushing breath. Kurapika realized he'd been sitting on the floor.

"I thought about who I missed the most, and it was Killua," Gon said, with his young, joyful, growing, quaking voice. Kurapika felt like he was choking on Gon's voice. 

"Kurapika, I'm in love with Killua," Gon said, though at this point Kurapika could barely hear him through the blood pounding in his ears. 

Gon stopped, again. Kurapika could see his friend's shining smile in his mind's eye. That smile that he showed when he was trying his hardest to be brave. He heard the effort it took to keep the smile alive when he spoke next. 

"Except, I'm pretty sure Killua hates me, now. Kurapika, what should I do?"

\----

The too-small apartment that Leorio paid too much for every month felt worth every penny when night fell. Sparkling city lights threw long shadows over the living room and kitchen. The longest shadow of all was his young friend’s. His friend stood looking out the window with hands in his pockets, attempting to look casually collected, as always. His shadow had grown along with a taller frame, and longer limbs. Leorio figured it would only take a few more years for him to surpass Leorio's own well-above average height. 

Leorio saw Killua's larger frame, but saw something shrinking inside of his friend's spirit that reminded him of his own initial impression of the kid. 

In comparison to his then new friend Gon, Leorio saw Killua as a kid totally out of his depth. Gon filled the world around him with light and energy. Just being near Gon made Leorio feel excited, and hopeful. Things were bound to turn out okay when Gon set his mule-stubborn mind to something. He appeared to be simple, but maybe he actually just saw one truth clearly: everything would be okay as long as he never gave up. 

Leorio remembers seeing Killua's ghostly pale face, and eyes narrowed with cruel cleverness. He was smarter than he ever wanted to let on, and there was no way to hide eyes like that. Yet, Leorio felt the kid was bound to shrink away into the shadows like a puff of smoke. His cleverness, his sharp tongue, and his cruel air hid darkness. Something totally different brought him to the Hunter Exam than what had brought Gon. Gon's life was filled with hope. Killua's life was guided by fear.

Gon's young friend turned out to be anything but out of his depth, at least in terms of his skills and intelligence. Leorio felt devastated when he realized his own lustful and stupid actions during one of the stages of the Hunter Exam meant this young boy would have to face off against a murderer in unarmed combat. 

When Killua looked back at Leorio and his companions after tearing a man's still beating heart out of his chest, Leorio had to very, very quickly reevaluate his impression of the kid. The kid was the farthest thing from helpless. 

At least, until Killua's even more terrifying and awful older brother revealed himself to also be taking the Hunter exam, in disguise. What passed between the brothers made clear how Killua's fear had been born. 

"I want be friends with Gon!" Killua had shouted, with his overwhelmed voice. Terrified, and exhilarated, to openly admit such a profound desire. 

"Killua, you're a killer. You don't get to have friends."

Leorio exploded with rage when he saw Killua's helpless face.

"You and Gon are already friends, Killua! Your brother is wrong!"

However, Leorio could only stand helplessly by as Killua murdered Leorio's opponent for the right to the Hunter title. Had Killua been trying to help him? Had he just wanted to disqualify himself with the unauthorized killing? 

Killua's blue eyes looked empty when he turned and left the arena. Not sad, not angry, not ashamed. Like everything worth anything had been emptied out of him. 

Leorio frowned now, as he sat and watched the now older, taller, and even stronger young man. His eyes no longer looked empty. He was able to laugh with joy, and frown with sympathy for his friends. He had been allowed to become what fear had squashed inside of him so long ago. 

The connection between that fearful, dangerous, empty boy he'd first met, and the vivid, troubled young man standing before him now couldn't be more clear to Leorio. 

It was Gon. 

Every moment that Killua stood next to Gon, it was like recharging a battery, or watering a plant. It was eating a filling meal. It was enjoying the warm sunshine on your face after a rain storm. Gon gave Killua his life back. 

The pieces clicked together in Leorio's mind. He pictured Killua and Gon together.

Killua followed Gon like a flower followed the sun as it traveled across the sky. Gon's golden eyes looked back at Killua, and saw the world in Killua’s face.

Gon saw the same truth in Killua’s face that Gon had always believed in. Everything will be okay, as long as we don't give up on each other.

Leorio felt himself smile wide. He looked at Killua as he discovered again how terrifying it was to realize how desperately he wanted something, like when he confronted his brother about wanting to be Gon’s friend. Just like that moment, the kid was still totally clueless to the fact that he'd always had it. Killua had what he wanted all along. 

Then, that same icy shiver that had been creeping over him all day returned. He turned, and saw Kurapika's grey eyes. Kurapika was slightly younger than Leorio, and certainly had always looked even younger than that. But that never stopped Kurapika from looking at Leorio like he was the young fool. Kurapika looked at him now like he wasn't just a fool, but a dangerous fool. 

"Killua, I'm not sure if my story is really going to be much help to you, kiddo," Zepile said. His voice broke through Leorio and Kurapika's silent stand off. Kurapika turned away from Leorio, and held his chin in his hand, deeply in thought. 

Killua turned away from the window. His face revealed the drunkenly slow onset of self-awareness. He tried to hide his embarrassment from Zepile's empathetic gaze.

"I don't think I said I needed help with anything," Killua said, with a slightly slurring pout. Zepile just laughed.

"That's exactly right, kid! You don't need anyone's help. The answer's inside you. The problem isn't whether or not you know. It's what to do once you do know," Zepile said. 

"Well, it sounds to me like all you did when you figured it out was break pottery and scare her away," Killua said, his impatience and embarrassment making his voice cruel. Zepile continued to smile at his younger friend.

Zepile placed his hands on his knees, and leaned forward. He looked deeply into the distance, through the walls of the apartment, into his own memories. 

"No question, kiddo. I fucked up royally. I fucked up because I thought my fear was more important than she was," Zepile said.

Killua hummed mockingly, and turned on his heel. He plopped to the floor, and pulled out his phone. Zepile gave a small bark of laughter, and leaned back in his chair.

The cheap wine had made Leorio wince on first sip, but it still blurred the edges of his vision as effectively as an expensive bottle of champagne.

For all intents and purposes, a Hunter's license guaranteed Leorio enough wealth to live comfortably for the rest of his days. His dream of being a doctor inspired him to take the difficult and dangerous exam, but the siren song of easy comfort still rang through his ears from time to time. It certainly flashed through his mind as he swallowed some of that half-gallon swill he could afford with the small stipend his schooling afforded him. Kurapika offered to pay, but Leorio stopped him. You don't celebrate wonderful friends and success by asking your young friend to cover for you.

That's why he never worried too much when those greedy impulses tickled at the edge of his mind. He looked around at this remarkable group of people. He knew he could never settle for an easy life of unproductive leisure as long as these people were in his life.

He looked over at Kurapika. The thin, serious young man sat very still in the arm chair across from Leorio. His legs were crossed at a crisp angle, and his right hand very carefully held his glass in one hand. He'd only finished one drink, and was clearly intending to nurse the second one for the rest of the night. His gray eyes looked into the swirling red liquid like it required his intense, undivided attention. He had said nothing while Zepile spoke, but nothing about it seemed to alleviate any of his worries.

Leorio could only imagine everything those gray eyes had seen. Kurapika took everything in. He carried the burden of his entire people on his seemingly frail shoulders. When his tribe had been slaughtered by infamous thieves, Kurapika devoted his life to retrieving their stolen eyes. Like Kurapika himself, Kurapika’s lovely, unassuming eyes hid awful secrets. When angered beyond control, Kurapika's gray eyes transformed. The pupils resembled blood red rubies. The eyes were priceless treasures.

Kurapika sought the power and leverage of a Hunter's License in order to work to retrieve his murdered tribes' stolen eyes. He selflessly devoted his entire life to the work. Leorio remembered how angry Kurapika made him when they first met. He was a snotty, stuck-up, know-it-all brat. He'd insulted Leorio's pride, and it struck Leorio in the exact spot where he was the most ashamed of himself. Those gray eyes had somehow pierced directly into Leorio's secret, selfish heart.

Not much had really changed on this front when Leorio came to think of it, but he knew how that was all a mask his brave, deeply kind friend wore to travel through his life in order to deal with so much loss. It was hard not to look deep within his own motives and goals and feel himself flounder in comparison.

Looking at Kurapika's wide, gray eyes Leorio felt pretty confident he knew what burdens Kurapika was placing on his shoulders now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has been so much fun to write. I have a lot of big, unwieldy plans. Tons more characters and ideas I want to explore. If you have any thoughts or feedback, I sure welcome it. Thanks for reading!


	4. A Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang's all back together!

"I still don't really understand why Cheadle is so interested in Gon," Leorio had said hours earlier, under his breath, as he finished paying for his rations for the night. He bought more than he could comfortably carry, but waved away Kurapika's offer to carry anything. Kurapika looked at him sideways as he toddled unsteadily out of the door.

"I'll be honest, I'm not sure I understand either," Kurapika said, after a moment of thought. Leorio shifted the straps in his hands, as he also curled both arms around the large, cardboard boxes. He wasn't struggling with the strength needed to carry the load, but physics still limited the number of ways a human arm can bend. He grunted in response.

"However, I have quite a few theories for why she would be interested," Kurapika said, rubbing his chin with his thumb and forefinger. "Cheadle's focus on Gon specifically is rather odd, but she's been working on changing recruitment standards for the Hunter's Association after the Chairman election in light of the NGL-East Gorteau incident."

Leorio frowned. The "incident" that Kurapika talked about like it was just ancient history landed one of their dearest friends in a near-death state so horrifying that Leorio watched professional Hunters break down in sobs after seeing that ruined body on life support.

"Additionally," Kurapika continued, looking into the distance as they walked. "Cheadle took care of that interview with Killua herself. That means that she doesn't want the Association, in general, aware of her activities."

Leorio slowed down to readjust the straps in his hands. Thankfully, they were only a few blocks away from his apartment. After three or four more slow steps, Leorio nearly dropped one box, and did drop the other. Kurapika dove under the falling box.

"Wait, then why do YOU have that video?"

Kurapika snorted, and grabbed the other box from Leorio, as well.

"I'm not an amateur, Leorio."

Leorio's mouth fell as he watched his friend march ahead of him.

"That's not an answer!" Leorio shouted. Kurapika just sighed.

"I'm just taking basic precautions, Leorio," Kurapika said, and fell silent for the rest of the walk.

\----

Leorio considered his young friend in the low light of the evening, now silently and privately handling his own thoughts. Leorio stood up, because he was unable to sit comfortably in such a gloomy atmosphere. He stretched, and yawned. He looked around. Kurapika looked grave, Zepile had that melancholy, reminiscing look, and Killua looked like the petulant brat he always pretended to be.

Leorio clapped his hands.

"Come on, this is a party! We're here to celebrate me! I'm finally going to be a doctor! Cheer up!" Leorio said, merrily. Kurapika stirred out of the quicksand of his own memories. He looked up at Leorio, and smiled.

"You're absolutely right," Kurapika said, pleasantly, his voice still distant. Zepile nodded.

"I shouldn't have brought things down with my lovelorn moaning and groaning, buddy," Zepile said. Leorio laughed, and shook his head.

"Hey, it's my fault for running out of the good stuff. Who needs a refill?" Leorio asked, picking up empty bottles.

"Me!" Killua slurred, mischievously. He felt Kurapika glare disapprovingly, but Leorio handed Killua a glass, and emptied one of the bottles into it. Killua swallowed it before Leorio reached the garbage bin to dump the empties.

Zepile stood, and looked at his watch.

"I actually should get going, friends. I have an early flight tomorrow," Zepile said. Kurapika stood, and offered his hand.

"It was a pleasure to meet you," Kurapika said, cordially. Zepile looked taken aback for a moment, but smiled.

"Same here."

Killua stood up, and put his phone in his pocket.

"Zepile, sorry for the weird questions," Killua said, looking at Zepile askance, with his hands in his pockets. Zepile's eyes crinkled around his eyes with his smile.

"Seriously, kid, give me a call if you need to. But I think you already know what to do," Zepile said, with a wink. Killua huffed, and spun away towards the kitchen.

"Wait, I'll walk you out. I need to run to the store anyway..." Leorio said to Zepile over clinking bottles as scooted past Killua into the kitchen. He grabbed his keys and wallet from the counter, and headed to unlock the front door.

"Leorio!"

A familiar voice cried out his name with excitement. Leorio looked left outside of his door, and right, and then looked down. Standing taller than he'd last seen him, but still a little shorter than Leorio’s eyeline, stood Gon Freecs.

"Gon!" Zepile exclaimed with excitement over Leorio's shoulder. Behind him, Leorio heard Kurapika jump to his feet. In the kitchen, glass shattered.

Gon had gotten taller, and broader, in the last year or more since Leorio had seen him last. He bounced on the balls of his feet, and smiled up at Leorio like no time had passed at all.

"Sorry I'm late!" Gon said, a tad sheepish. "I finished up with Kite sooner than I thought I would!"  
Leorio smiled widely at his friend. It was impossible not to smile back at that face.

"Gon! I'm so glad you could make it! Come right in!" Leorio said, his hospitality kicking into overdrive for the second time today. Hairs on the back of his neck stood up under the pressure of one pair of gray eyes boring into his back. He also was pretty sure he could hear a heart filled with lightning ready to burst in his kitchen.

Zepile reached around Leorio, and grabbed Gon's hand.

"Little buddy, I know this is just proof of what an old man I am, but you've gotten so big!" Zepile said, shaking Gon's hand with both of his own.

Gon still looked like Gon, but taller and longer, and thicker around everywhere. He wore his hair a bit shorter. He still carried around the same yellow and red backpack he'd carried since the Hunter Exam. He wore sturdy green traveling pants, and a black tank top. It's clear that he'd come from some place much warmer than this city.

Hell, had he actually just run here directly? Gon's legs resembled a dusty fence post more than legs. His green boots were coated in dried mud, and the laces were almost totally undone on one. Gon panted, his chest heaving, but he still smiled.

"Can I come in?" Gon asked. Leorio nearly stumbled backwards as he realized he'd just been standing still. He swung the door open.

"Yes, of course!" Leorio said, grabbing Gon's shoulder and guiding him inside.

As Gon stepped inside Leorio's small apartment, Kurapika stepped slowly beside them.

"Gon?" Kurapika asked, sounding uncertain, and without his default arrogance. Gon spun around, and shouted happily.

"Kurapika!"

Gon tossed his arms around Kurapika's shoulders, and Kurapika looked like he might fall over in surprise.

"Gon, my goodness, it's really been a long time, hasn't it?" Kurapika said, smiling in a way Leorio hadn't seen since they'd reunited. Kurapika returned Gon's hug briefly, before pulling away.

"Gon, how have you been?" Kurapika asked. Zepile and Kurapika crowded around as Gon started chattering. Leorio looked over both shoulders for Killua's excited face. He turned. The kid was nowhere to be seen. Leorio stepped back over to his kitchen.

"Killua?"

A puddle of bright red on the floor rippled with drip after drip of blood. Killua's hands bled freely as he crouched on the floor next to the puddle. Leorio saw shattered glass poking out of the puddle, as well as out of the skin of Killua's right hand. Killua stared at the blood like he'd never seen anything like it before.

"Hey, are you okay?" Leorio shouted, and ran over to Killua before he received an answer. Killua offered no resistance as Leorio grabbed the bleeding hand.

"Killua, this glass...?" Leorio asked, before trailing off. There were pieces of glass embedded deep in Killua's pale flesh. The first bizarre picture Leorio's mind imagined was a snow cone slashed with bright red, cherry-flavored syrup. He gingerly tried to loosen one of the stuck pieces of glass.

Killua's glazed eyes finally snapped into focus.

"Ouch! Fuck, Leorio!" Killua shouted, and yanked his hand back, splattering more blood on the floor, and on Leorio's tie and shirt. Leorio muttered in frustration. He grabbed Killua's wrist, and tried to pull the hand back.

"Killua!" shouted Gon. Leorio turned, and felt Killua's pulse race underneath his fingers.

Gon's smiled brightly, and then he saw the blood. He yelped, and ran closer. He crouched next to Killua. Leorio watched Killua's pupils constrict. Without a sound, Killua ripped his wrist out of Leorio's hand so forcefully Leorio felt like his fingers were going to break. Killua stamped out of the kitchen, and rounded left towards the bathroom. Leorio looked over at Gon's face. Gon's amber eyes narrowed with concern.

"I...I didn't mean..." Gon mumbled, sadly. Leorio frowned, and stood to chase after Killua. He saw Kurapika step past him as he left the kitchen, and heard him kneel next to Gon.

Leorio followed Killua into the bathroom. Killua held his bleeding hand over the sink, and gripped the porcelain sink's edge so tightly with his other hand that Leorio heard a dangerous crack.

"Killua!" Leorio whispered, forcefully, and reached out to grab Killua's shaking shoulder. "Snap out of it!"

Killua twisted his head towards Leorio. Killua front teeth bit into his bottom lip, hard. Leorio saw a tiny speck of blood bead on the pale pink of Killua's grimacing mouth. He grabbed both shoulders, and spun the boy away from the sink.

"Killua," Leorio hissed through grinding teeth. "Maybe this is just what I get for letting a 16-year-old drink in my apartment, even if that 16-year-old is you, but you have got to pull it together, my friend." 

Leorio gripped both of Killua's shoulders firmly. Killua looked up at Leorio. His blue eyes chilled Leorio's blood like ice as he watched him lick the blood on his lip away. 

"There's nothing wrong, and you are going to get out of my way, right now," Killua said with an even, brutal tone. 

Leorio gulped. His young friend was a trusted companion. Yet, the chill of those eyes, and the pressure of his young friend's willpower, tried to push Leorio back, and out of the way. 

Then he smelled the warm blood, and heard the concerned voices of his friends in the kitchen. He looked down at Killua, and gritted his own teeth.

"You are going to sit down, and let me take care of your hand, you little monster," Leorio said, shoving as hard as he could. Killua grunted, but offered no actual resistance. Leorio maneuvered him to the toilet, and forced him down. He slammed his foot against the door to shut it, and lowered to one knee. 

The pressure relented a bit, but Leorio could feel Killua's stare pricked back of his neck with a thousand needles as he leaned over Killua's shredded hand. He pulled out the first aid kit under his bathroom sink. Killua startled Leorio when he started laughing as he watched Leorio open the kit.

"Preparing for war?"

Leorio just huffed, and mumbled under his breath, "Accidents at home account for thousands of deaths every year, thank you very much." 

The bleeding started up again in earnest when Leorio started plucking out the shattered pieces of glass. Killua gave petulant yelps every time, but otherwise held very still as Leorio worked. Every piece of glass removed seemed to release some of the pent up feelings Killua tried to smash, threaten, and run away from, in turn. Eventually, Leorio heard him whisper.

"I don't want to see Gon."

Leorio blinked, and nodded. 

"Message received there, kid."

Killua shifted his legs, and fidgeted with his other hand. Most of the time Leorio spent around him, Killua stayed still and collected, like a much older man. Now, though, he moved with awkward, restless, adolescent energy. 

"I...can't see him."

Leorio said nothing, and pulled out the last piece of glass. He used an alcohol wipe to clean the cut, and squeezed out another dollop of antibacterial cream into the wound. He pressed gauze into it. He ignored Killua's put upon whimper, and started wrapping the bandage around the palm. 

"That's up to you, kiddo," Leorio said, after finishing the wrap. He put his supplies away. "Though I know if you left now, it would break Gon's heart." He stood up, and looked down at Killua. Killua stayed sitting, curling his shoulders over his wrapped hand. 

"It's better for Gon if I go, now," Killua said, confidently, like he was reporting the time.

Leorio couldn't help but smirk.

"That will not convince Mr. Freecs, and you know it."

Killua laughed dryly, and made a fist with his left hand. He jammed his knuckles into the bare skin of his knee. Leorio placed his hand back on Killua's shoulder, gently. He bent his knee again, and lowered his face until it sat even with Killua's.

"Gon is your friend, Killua," Leorio said. "No matter what else is true, he is your friend." Leorio knew that, too, with the same confidence he would repeat his own name and Hunter license number. Killua snorted. Leorio turned back towards the door.

"Now, you're welcome to stay in my bathroom all night, but that doesn't really sound less embarrassing to me," Leorio said over his shoulder. Killua stood, swaying slightly. Leorio rolled his eyes. "Also, I'm going to make coffee, and you have to drink two mugs of that, and two giant glasses of water before you go, young man." 

Leorio opened the door, and felt Killua shove him rudely to the side walking out. He watched the little punk put his hands in his pockets, carefully hiding the bandages. He saw a carefully crafted swagger move Killua's head and shoulders. 

"Yo, Gon," Killua said, too casually, as he walked back to the kitchen. 

Kurapika and Gon were bustling around the kitchen cleaning up the mess. Gon looked up from the floor where he wiped off the last of the blood. Kurapika glanced over from the sink where he rinsed off a dust pan. Gon looked up as Killua approached. 

"Killua! Are you okay? This was a lot of blood," Gon said, eager and concerned and sincere. 

Killua snorted, and laughed. "Of course I'm fine. Hope you weren't worried." 

Leorio smiled at Gon's delighted face, but it was Kurapika's look of alarm that drew his attention. Leorio stepped past Killua, and approached the sink. 

"Leorio, what...?" Kurapika whispered, as he ran the faucet, trying to drown out his question. 

Leorio shook his head. "He's drunk, and he's 16," Leorio said, trying to sound light and jovial. Kurapika frown deepened. 

"Uh, hey, there's someone else at your door, Leorio?" said Zepile, interrupting Leorio as he started to respond to Kurapika's frown. 

"Huh? Who is it?" Leorio asked.

Immediately, Killua spun on his heels, and Gon stood up, dropping the bloody rag he was holding. Killua and Gon both zipped out of sight. Kurapika gasped, and followed them. Zepile looked startled.

"Oh, shit, is this some Hunter stuff?" Zepile whispered, nervously.

Leorio could only shrug. This was definitely what he got for giving a 16-year-old former professional assassin alcohol, inviting the shadow head of a major crime syndicate to his home, and opening the door to Gon Freecs, all in one day. 

\----  
_"Who is Gon Freecs?"_

_Killua's eyes narrowed, and he curled his fingers in and out, warming them up._

_"He's a 16-year-old-boy," Killua replied, crisply._

_"He's your friend."_

_After a long pause, Killua said, "Yes."_

_"He's also dangerous."_

_"No, I'm dangerous," Killua said, irritation quickly growing to anger._

_"You're a known factor, Killua Zoldyck."_

_Killua's fingers twitched. The hairs on his arms and legs and neck started to stand on end. The smell of a dry, summer thunder storm filled his nose._

_"You're a former assassin, current run-away, and while you are currently harboring a powerful and unaccounted for weapon, we are not interested in you at the present time."_

_Killua snorted. "It's funny, somehow people don't tend to be interested in me until I've already ripped their throats out," Killua replied._

_"You would be wasting your time. It won't work on us, and it wouldn't matter even if it did. We just need your answer. Perhaps we misspoke. What is Gon Freecs?"_

_The room spun, and the air turned super heated, as Killua's legs flew through the air. He knocked the head off of the body, because he knew empty threats when he heard them. This was not empty. When the head hit the ground, and the body stumbled to the left, and then stumbled to the right, Killua gasped._

_The head landed on the ground, sparks running along the skin from Killua's charged energy, but also jumping out from within. The neck didn't bleed, but instead leaked a viscous, black substance. Gleaming and sparkling metallic parts shone in place of sinew and bones. The body continued to jerk, and move, reaching for him. He shouted, and shoved out his aura as a powerful electrical burst. The body in front of him shuddered, and after a moment, exploded._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is murderxbaby.tumblr.com, and I am shamelessly looking for new KilluGon friends, so join me, if you'd like. <3


	5. A Visitor

Standing in the door was a smiling, well-dressed man with black hair swept back in a conservative style. He held a small briefcase, and adjusted his tie as he lifted the arm holding the briefcase to check the time. Two large bodies fell to the floor behind the man as Kurapika’s bodyguards collapsed. 

The man looked up, and reacted as he saw Killua, and then Gon, appear before him. 

"Ah, gentlemen, exactly who I was hoping to find."

Killua ignored him, and turned to Gon. 

"Gon, who is this?"

Gon shook his head, and frowned.

"Someone was following me, but I was sure I managed to lose him before I got here." 

Killua cursed, and shook his head. "But you don't know him, do you?"

Gon looked back, concern and alarm on his face. They both felt extreme pressure coming from this unassuming looking man. The man with the briefcase lowered both hands, and looked taken aback.

"Now, now, gentlemen, this is certainly my first time meeting either of you! There is no need to be alarmed, after all, I simply come to discuss some developments that of interest would be to of both you, so NO alarm to be nEEdEd, NOW rIghT" said the man, with a bland, pleasant tone, that started to crack around the edges as the sentence's syntax fell apart around him. 

The floor threatened to give out under his feet as the walls of the room spun around him, but Killua still heard the uncanny collapse of that man - or thing's - speech as it transformed into inhuman blather. He crouched, and lifted his hands out of his pockets. He felt Gon's body stiffen, and turn instinctively towards Killua's growing aura. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Gon reflexively crouch as well, forming both hands into fists. 

"Killua, what is...?" Gon said, but the bland man's blabber ran over the top of Gon's words.

"Killua.... Zol....dyck and Gon Freec....freec....FREECsss, identities confirmed," said the man, staggeringly, like a streaming video that hadn't fully buffered. 

"Gon! Get out of here, now!" Killua shouted. In a blink, Killua stood between Gon and the stuttering man as the small briefcase burst open, and 5 metallic tentacles with long needles on the end exploded out from inside. 

Killua lifted both hands in front of his face quicker than any eye in the room could track. Two of the tentacles blasted to piece, and two others flew to the left and the right as if they were flies caught by a flyswatter. 

The final tentacle flew inches from Killua's arms and face, and reached Gon at the moment he'd spun to his left on Killua's command. A long needle buried its tip deep in Gon's neck. Gon shouted, and reached up to grab the tentacle. His body slowed ever so subtly as some quick acting sedative did its work.

In the same moment, Killua swung both arms aside. With his good left hand, he leapt forward, and grabbed the bland man's eerie face. He immediately pulled his hand away, and crossed both arms in front of himself again, as the man's face began melting. Moments later, both eyes fell backwards into the face to reveal a metallic skull. Smoke poured out of both holes. Flames erupted from the skin like it was newspaper in a fireplace. 

"Gon!" Killua called out. He turned. Gon looked back at Killua as he pulled the needle out of his neck. Killua grabbed Gon around the waist and tackled him to the floor just as bland face melted away, and the head exploded. 

Killua crouched over Gon's prone body, and bleeding neck. He felt debris bounce off his back as he protected both of them with his aura. He could sense Gon's sluggishness without seeing him clearly. He looked over his shoulder, and saw the headless body slump, and fall forward. Killua leaned over, as Gon climbed to his knees next to him. 

"Gon! Killua!" 

Kurapika ran next to Gon and Killua as Leorio stood between Zepile and the flying debris.

The sound of a helicopter rotor came to life in the doorway. Killua pivoted on his toes towards the noise. The headless body's suit flew apart into pieces as a sphere with flapping, blurring wings emerged from the back of the body, covered in purple slime. Two small claw feet emerged from the bottom of the hovering machine. It bobbed over to the briefcase, and both feet grabbed the handle out of the limp hand.

Surprisingly fast for a bobbing, metal ball, the machine pulled the briefcase out of the room. In a rush, Killua reached out to try and grab the needle tentacle, but it retracted back into the briefcase quicker than he could bring his wine-addled senses into service to use aura to improve his speed. He stood up, and ran to the door. He focused, a moment faster than it should have taken him normally, and powered up his aura. He prepared to run out of the room after the machine.

"Killua! Are you just going to leave Gon?!" Kurapika shouted in a voice accustomed to being obeyed. Killua froze, and spun. He felt his aura tingle outside of him at the same frequency as his frustration and anger. He looked at Kurapika's stern face, and down at Gon's face.

Gon's eyes were wide with admiration, but his mouth grimaced as he held the bleeding wound on his neck. Killua blushed under the spotlight of both faces. He lifted his head and opened his mouth, for some reason it helped him disperse his electrified aura quicker and more safely. Gon made an excited noise, and then yelped in pain.

"Gon!" cried Kurapika, Leorio and Zepile in unison. Leorio left Zepile's side, and ran to look at Gon's wound. Kurapika's eyes never left Gon, but he stepped closer to Killua. 

Killua's head swam in a fuzzy, nauseous soup. He bent his head, and leaned over, suddenly grateful that Kurapika stopped him from pursuing the machine. He needed to be here if something came back, and also the effort would almost certainly have made him vomit all over his shoes. He braced himself with his hands on his knees, and sucked in sickening breaths. 

As Killua leaned over, he heard Kurapika's voice barely above a whisper. 

"Killua, you knew what that was, based on how quickly you dispatched it, especially in this....uh, state?" Kurapika said, ending with an awkward mumble. Killua slumped until he was sitting on the floor, and put his head in his hands.

"Yeah."

Kurapika looked down, but asked nothing more. Killua peeked between his sweaty fingers at Gon and Leorio. 

"Leorio, I'm fine! I just need a band-aid, or something. It doesn't even hurt," Gon said, speaking in an upbeat attempt to placate Leorio. Leorio was not convinced. 

"Absolutely not! Anything could have been on that needle! Poison, or some kind of horrible virus!" Leorio threw up both hands, and stood up. "Wait here, I have field work blood sample tests here, we can at least rule out the big stuff."

Gon reached after Leorio as he stomped away. 

"I'm fine! I promise!"

"Gon, please?" Kurapika said, calmly. "We have no idea what just happened to you. We have to make sure you're okay."

"He's fine," Killua said, panting. "I doubt they want to kill their most important test subject." 

Kurapika sucked in one quick breath, and placed his chin in his hands. Leorio swiveled his head.

"What are you talking about?"

Killua's vision started to fail him. He placed both hands over his eyes, trying to quiet the increasing cacophony of pain in his head.

"I really should have taken the hint about this Hunter's License stuff, huh?" Zepile asked, poking his head out from behind the couch, where he'd been hiding. "Don't mind me, I'm just going to be over here puking my guts out."

Killua gulped hard, realizing how great that idea sounded. He stood up quickly, stumbling like he'd just strapped roller blades to his feet. Thankfully, his regular speed was enough to drag his heaving body to the toilet bowl so he could empty his entire night into the water.

\----

"Killua, I think you're really fun to be with."

A warm flush started in Killua's belly, and rose through his body, until his head felt light and giddy. Gon's face floated in front of him, considering him seriously. Killua heard his own muffled speech, like someone held a pillow to his face while he spoke. 

"Jeesh, Gon, how can you say embarrassing things like that?"

Gon's face transformed from captivating to stunning when he smiled. Killua knew Gon could see him blush, but he couldn't turn his face away, or move his hands. 

As he looked at his friend's smiling face, the ichor of some dark creature flowed down Gon's brown skin. The gold of Gon's eyes tarnished, and the white of his eyes filled with blood. Gon's smile grew and spread, and erased his entire face until all that was left was a bruise purple hole, shuddering with mucous and inner life. The hole's edges bristled with sharp teeth. 

The hole grew, and grew, and then lowered over Killua's head. The smell of rot and sickness filled his nose. Panic filled every cell. He couldn't run. He could only scream as the giant mouth bit into his neck, and snapped his spine in half between thousands of serrated teeth. 

Killua's eyes opened, and he screamed. 

\----

"Killua?" Gon asked. He repeated the name, and repeated it again. He reached towards Killua's bandaged right hand, gingerly. He grabbed the wrist below the injured hand firmly in his own hand. He leaned over as Killua's eyes searched the room. Gon tensed, ready for Killua to jump, or pull his arm away, or defend himself somehow. 

Two black pupils constricted, and then widened in their dark blue homes. Killua screamed, and even with open eyes, didn't seem to realize where he was. 

"Killua!" Gon shouted, and squeezed the wrist in his hand, pulling Killua up until he sat up. As he did, Killua's left hand swung out. Gon caught it with his other hand, and stepped closer to the bed. 

"Killua, are you okay?" Gon asked, below a shout - clearly and loudly.

Killua's voice quieted, but his eyes were still clouded.

"Gon....?" Killua said, extending the final sound of Gon's name, like his mouth was learning again how to form sounds. He repeated Gon's name again curiously, and repeated it a third time in that familiar way.

"Killua, were you having a nightmare?" Gon said, softly. Killua's eyes changed shape as he watched his friend shift from panic to certainty. His head swiveled left and right, and looked at their joined hands. He looked back at Gon.

"Gon, where are we?" Killua asked, groggy, but awake, and back in the same world as Gon. Gon sighed with relief, and released his friend's hands. He lifted his entire body onto the bed, and sat facing his friend.

"We're at Leorio's apartment, remember?" 

Killua looked past Gon to the rest of the room. Unwashed socks, pants, and shirts covered the floor. Thick medical textbooks were flipped open on a cheap looking desk, as well as nearly double the number of pornographic magazine. Killua rolled his eyes. This was definitely Leorio's room.

"Yeah, I remember coming here," Killua said, easily answering his friend's question. He looked back at his friend's face. Deja-vu all over again. 

It had been more than 2 years since he'd last seen Gon. It felt at once like a lifetime ago, and also like only a few days had passed. Hazy morning light slid through the cracks of Leorio's ragged blinds. Stripes of sunshine sliced across Gon's face. His amber-colored eyes reflected the sunlight like polished gold jewelry. His face looked fuller, and longer. His jaw sloped from his soft cheeks like steep hills. He looked older. His smile still made Killua feel like he was looking directly into the sun. 

"Do you remember...anything else about last night?" Gon asked, hesitantly. 

The most immediate sensation Killua recalled from last night was stomach churning nausea, and a pounding headache. Killua dropped his eyes into his hands, as the headache rose up behind his eyes like it was responding to some enthusiastic cry for an encore. 

"Oh, I forgot," Gon whispered, and gently pounded his left palm with his right hand. "Here..." Gon said, and reached over towards the bed's small side table.

Killua felt Gon's warm hand grab one of his, and pull it away from his face. Killua lifted his head. Killua lifted his head. Gon's bright eyes looked at him seriously. He pressed two small pills into Killua's hand.

"This, and..." Gon said. He reached back to the table, and leaned back. "and this!"

Killua saw two painkillers and a large glass of water in his hands.

"Leorio said I had to make sure you drank the whole thing!"

Killua threw both pills back into his mouth, and gulped. He then chugged down the entire tumbler of water in a few quick gulps. Gon grabbed the glass back before Killua could resist. Killua sighed. Maybe pretending over-the-counter pain killer and room temperature water would actually kill his pain would be as effective as playing pretend had been last night with Leorio's booze.

Killua closed his eyes, and listened to the familiar sounds of his friend's bouncing, restless energy. He heard the small hums Gon liked to make without noticing he was making them whenever he shuffled around. He felt Gon climb off the bed, set down the glass, and pick something up off the floor.

It was as if no time at all had passed while they were apart. Killua found Gon effortlessly easy to be around when they had traveled together. Most everyone else eventually got on Killua's last nerve, but being with always Gon felt simple and fun. This familiar, comfortable feeling made it even harder to focus on the current place and time. Killua opened his eyes.

Gon stood next to the bed, smoothing his hands over Killua's jacket. Killua made two fists as he watched Gon move. He flinched, and looked down at his bandaged hand. He remembered looking Leorio's serious and frustrated face as he leaned over Killua's hand. He felt the sweating glass in his hand, and heard the crack as the glass shattered in his hand. He heard his own voice speak honestly, with sloppy, slow syllables.

"How do you know you're in love with someone?"

Killua's arms flushed pink. His cheeks felt hot, like he'd been leaning over a boiling kettle. He threw the flimsy sheet off his legs, and hopped out of bed. Avoiding Gon's anxious look, he grabbed the jacket off the bed.

"Killua, are you okay?" Gon asked. Killua put on his jacket, and felt in the pockets. His wallet and keys were safely stored in the pocket on his shorts, but he realized his phone must have fallen out of his jacket pocket. He stepped out of the room, ignoring Gon’s voice.

Half a dozen strange people stood around Leorio's living room engaged in various tasks as Killua left the bedroom. They were dressed in suits or other sharp business attire. Two women crouched on the floor inspecting a large dark spot, and a man was describing the technical aspects of something's recent removal to one woman with a clipboard and an earpiece, and another woman wearing sunglasses, holding her hands primly behind her back. Killua moved quietly on instinct, but he felt every set of eyes in the place turn to look at him. The woman with the earpiece tilted her mouth towards the cord hanging down her shoulder from the earpiece.

"Boss, he's awake," said the woman with an accent that told Killua she definitely wasn't from this city.

Before Killua could take another step, he saw Kurapika, flanked by two different bodyguards than the two from yesterday. He waved to the woman, who went back to her conversation.

"Killua, I'm glad you're doing better," Kurapika said. Killua knew he was sincere, but couldn't miss the cold, serious tone. Kurapika was not his old comrade in arms now. He now embodied the person who'd become legendary for being a major mover and shaker behind the scenes at both the Hunter's Association, and in the criminal underworld.

"Where's my phone?" Killua asked, casually. He knew Kurapika had it, and Kurapika knew he knew.

"It's fine, here, I held it myself," Kurapika said, grabbing the beetle shaped device from his inside jacket pocket.

"What did you tell my sister when she called?" Killua grabbed the phone back as he asked, flipping the wing on the back of the beetle open to check the inevitable missed messages.

Kurapika paused, immediately ready to deny such an action, but realized Killua could clearly see the call history, and also knew that Killua wasn't born in a barn. Kurapika sighed. "Canary called, and I explained that you were safe, but detained. She said she'd take care of the rest."

Killua's shoulders stiffened. He flipped the wing closed, and tapped out his sister's number. He never saved numbers in his phone, but thankfully this one floated easily to the top of his mind, even in his current haze.

"Alluka? Cutie pie?" Killua asked, turning away from Kurapika, pointedly ignoring how stiff and frustrated Kurapika looked.

"Brother! Are you okay?" came Alluka's voice over the phone's tinny speaker. Killua's dear little sister brought him back to reality, and pulled him out of the dream of the past he left in the bedroom.

"Of course I'm okay, I was just out late with my friends. I apologize for making you worry. Did you have an okay time with Canary?"

"Yes! We just moved hotel rooms, and then stayed up watching movies, like you told me to do, right?"

"Yeah, sounds like you had a pretty fun night, actually. Your brother was just up late acting like a dummy," Killua said, honestly.

"Will you be back soon?"

"I'll be back as soon as I can, cutie, I promise. Just remember to be nice to Canary, okay? Also, can you put her on? I love you, little one, okay?"

"Brother?" Alluka said, her excited voice turning ever so slightly worried. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Killua sighed.

"Please, just put Canary on, okay? I promise I'll see you as soon as I can."

Alluka gave a small whine, but Killua could feel her nod as she said, "Okay."

"Master, did it happen again?" asked Canary without hesitation once Alluka handed over the phone. Killua looked over his shoulder briefly, as Kurapika stood waiting for him, not exactly patient. He felt a small, irritating squeeze of gratitude that Kurapika must have left out most of the details. 

Canary's calm and clear-headed words were all business. Killua needed to hear that voice more than ever before.

Canary, a former assistant butler trained for work in his family’s sprawling mountain estate, always helped Killua slow down and think more clearly with her professional and serious nature. Killua thanked whatever cold and empty stretch in the darkness of fate aligned perfectly for him while simultaneously making Canary's sanity and good sense slip long enough to convince her to offer him her services as Alluka's bodyguard and attendant.

It meant that Canary, like Killua and Alluka, was on the run from his family every day of her life. 

"It happened while I was at Leorio's. But this time it wasn't targeting me, it was clearly targeting..." Killua said, and dropped his voice even lower. "It was targeting..."

Canary interrupted him.

"Master, no disrespect meant, but let's wait until you're back to discuss this."

Killua gulped in air. He was really slipping if he needed Canary to remind him of this. 

"Got it. I'll be back in touch as soon as I can be. Be careful, in the meantime."

"Understood. You too, sir." 

"Canary, I told you to stop calling me..."

"And I told you that I'm still a former Zoldyck family butler, sir. So I'll thank you not to tell me how to do my job, and I won't tell you how to do yours,” Canary said, with finality. Killua grunted, but knew he couldn’t argue.

“Got it. I’ll talk to you soon,” Killua said, and snapped the phone shut. 

Kurapika made no move to hide how closely he listened to Killua's conversation, or followed his facial expressions with his eyes as Killua spoke. Killua put his phone in his pocket while staring Kurapika dead in the eyes.

"Is Gon safe here?"

Kurapika looked at the two bodyguards flanking him, and shooed them over to stand near the doors. He grabbed Killua by the shoulder, and angled them so they were facing away from the gathered people.

"Killua, you know I can't reasonably answer that unless you give me a lot more information. I'm having my people conduct a thorough investigation, but it's clear you know something more."

Okay, you are totally misunderstanding me, Kurapika," Killua said. Kurapika still had a few inches in height on Killua, yet the look Killua gave him now made Kurapika shrink before him. "I'm not asking, I'm telling you. Keep Gon safe here until I get back."

The bedroom door opened, and quietly shut behind them as Kurapika frowned silently in response.

"Killua?"

Killua turned, and regretted it immediately. Gon gripped the doorknob tightly. He stood on legs unmoving and steady like iron rails. Killua could see the muscles in his friend's arms and shoulder tense. His eyes reflected light like two brass shields.

"Keep me safe? Killua, if there's something going on, I want to help..."

"No!" Killua roared, and turned away from those eyes. He heard Gon call after him, and felt Kurapika reach for him. He yanked his arm out of Kurapika's grasp, and pulled up the hood of his jacket. He put both hands in his pockets, and ignited his aura. He felt that stinging, familiar static discharge from every nerve, and felt his legs and reflexes dance effortless in between and away from the reaching arms that Kurapika must have just commanded after him.

Killua ran out of the door, and towards the stairwell. He took each set of stairs in one hop. He saw no other people. As he exited the small, dirty lobby, he saw more of what must be Kurapika's flunkies standing near the entrance to the building. He crashed through the doors to the building, knocking them off their hinges. He heard screams of alarm and surprise, but was down the street, and around the corner by the time any of them would have had time to move or react.

Once he'd put some distance between himself and the building, he slid into a narrow alley, and opened his mouth, releasing his aura, and the breath he'd been holding. The hotel Canary moved his sister to would be nearly 30 minutes away on foot, though he would arrive much quicker if turned on his aura. 

However, in this bright morning light, it would be much harder to hide from any greedy eyes looking for the flash of blue lightning Kurapika would be paying for any information about.

The hood wouldn't be quite enough cover, but Killua tightened it around his head, anyway. He pulled open his phone to double check the direction of his destination. He pocketed the phone, and looked up.

"Killua! I found you!" shouted Gon, appearing in front of Killua like he'd been dropped from the sky by some cruel, celestial prankster.

"Gon, what are you doing here?" Killua sputtered. His hands shook inside his pockets, so he gritted his teeth to keep his face still and serious.

Gon's mouth quivered, and his lips curved downward. His eyes narrowed like he'd been slapped. 

Only for a moment. Killua opened his mouth in return, but by then the moment passed. Gon's eyes opened wider, brave and honest.

"I want to help you," said Gon.

Memories filled Killua's mind. The insistent hum of some distant electrical machinery buzzed in his ears. His aura rose up like some aural mirror. His muscles twitched. He needed to run away, right now. He needed to leave, and never, ever look back.

"Killua, please?"

Gon offered Killua his hand. Gon's bravery knew no limits. He set his strong, stubborn jaw. Gon looked prepared to chase, or scream, or punch something.

His eyes asked for Killua to say something, anything. They looked desperate and hopeful. They looked scared.

Killua's heart jumped into his throat. Around the warm, sticky, heavy heart crept out words.

"No, Gon, no. Go back. Leave me alone," Killua said. He looked down at the hand. His hood blocked Gon's face from view. He curled his fingers into straining fists in his pockets. He felt a small, stinging wetness in his unwrapped hand as he cut into his palm with his nails.

The hand retreated, but Gon stood still.

"Killua," Gon said. Killua tried to turn, but his feet wouldn't cooperate.

"Do you," Gon continued, slowly. Killua's aura ignited. His lungs and organs and skin begged his heart to let him run.

"Hate me?" Gon finished. Killua looked up. Thunder crashed in his ears.

Gon flinched, and stepped back. His strong jaw stayed brave and still. His eyes blinked against the shine of Killua's suddenly ignited aura. Gon could see it. Killua's brain raced too quickly to make sense of that fact.

_"Did I really ask that question last night?"_

Killua crouched. Aura gathered instantly in the base of his legs. He launched dozens of feet in the air, and kicked off against the side of the building. He bounced between the two walls flanking the alley.

_"Did I lose my mind?"_

He hopped onto the roof of one of the buildings, and launched himself off towards his sister's hotel.

_"Leorio's deep warmth, Kurapika's brittle kindness, and Zepile's knowing smile."_

He jumped from building to building. His feet barely spent a moment in contact with each surface before he flew airborne again.

_"Did I mistake how comfortable last night felt with safety?"_

After traveling 20 blocks in the space of a few moments, Killua paused. He still had plenty of energy left for the rest of the trip, but even on rooftops it could still draw too much attention to move so freely this way. He crouched to one knee, and expelled his aura with a gasp.

_"We're never safe."_

Killua pulled his hands out of his pockets. Streams of red tricked down his wrist. He opened his fingers, and saw a deep, thick cut. He pressed his palm to his mouth, and warm, metallic taste filled his mouth. He realized how off and uneven his breathing was. It meant that his racing thoughts couldn't find their way home. He couldn't make sense of the last 24 hours.

_"Alluka is never safe. Canary and I regularly work to counteract everything from wire tapped hotel rooms to my brother's needlemen pretending to be waiters in a dive restaurant, ready to strike."_

When he heard Gon's voice, it felt like his body and mind broke apart. His body moved automatically, yet his mind traveled far into the past. He remembered those years together. He remembered Gon's determination. That look in his eyes, that barely contained eagerness. 

_Laughing together. Silently waiting as danger pressed in on every side. Sleeping under the stars._

They faced death together. It was hard work. It was scary, and it was awful, at times. He always knew he was exactly where he wanted to be when he could stand next to his friend.

Then that smell of heat, and blood, and rot, and death. That pounding in his heart, that vibration against his skin, as his aura reacted to the concentration of malice and fury and rage that had transformed Gon into a brutal monster. The restriction and covenant. Killua couldn't stop it. That pain that Killua couldn't end.

Gon stood facing Pitou's bleeding, headless corpse. Killua saw Pitou's claws flash in the darkness, ready to fight even after death. All he could do was tackle Gon's hulking, monstrous figure out of their lethal path.

"We'll always be friends," Gon had told him, before leaving to meet his father on the top of the miraculous World Tree. He shook Gon's hand. He agreed. Of course we would.

 _Distance made the heart grow fonder, isn't that what Alluka asked him about later that year?_

When Alluka asked him if that was true for him, he felt something stir inside of him. Feelings he didn't want to face. Feelings he couldn't explain. Alluka looked at him with open eyes.

"Isn't that how you feel about Gon?" Alluka asked, innocently and sincerely, after Killua found himself rambling late at night about some remembered misadventure or another.

_"Now Gon is never safe. And it's my fault."_

Killua stood up. He heard a rotor spinning. Metallic wings cut through the heavy city air with an ominous whistle. Over the lip of the roof, Killua saw a large, metal sphere. The big brother to the sphere that flew out of their attacker in Leorio's apartment. Killua saw a camera pointed directly at him.

Frustration roared from his mouth as Killua thrust his hand towards the hovering sphere. Lightning connected his fingertips to the machine. The wings of the machine sparked, and wobbled. They stopped for the briefest moment as Killua hoped the sphere would simply fall to the street below, and shatter. Sparks crawled along the wings, and then dispersed. The propeller began spinning again.

Some kind of grounding or insulation tossed off Killua's electrical burst. He made two fists, and growled. Wasn't exactly surprising, considering how many of the damned things he'd blown up by now. He wasn't in the mood today, though.

With a quick intake of breath, Killua's hair rose in the air again. It lifted against the pull of gravity, and basically never getting combed, with the power of his aura. He jumped through the air, reaching with both hands to grab the metal sphere out of the air.

A pop and a sizzling sound forced Killua's trained reflexes to fire. He threw his body back to the roof. He lifted up both arms, and blinked as he watched the sphere jerk like two hands had grabbed the whirling propeller blades in mid air. The sphere vibrated, and smoke started pouring out of its motor. A silvery strand bounced in the air. It reflected the late morning sunlight. Killua saw one end of the strand wrapped around a propeller blade, pulling against the direction the propeller tried to swing.

The sphere fell towards the street. The silvery strand yanked tight, and slammed the sphere into a nearby wall. Metal pieces flew in every direction. Killua covered his eyes with his hands. He stood, and ran to the roof's edge. He looked down at the street below.

"Killua! Are you okay?"

Gon gave his long, white fishing pole a careful flick. The fishing line returned to the powerful spool near Gon's hand. 

Killua bit his lip. He felt the sharp, quick pain from where his teeth had cut into the skin last night. 

"I'm fine, Gon," Killua said. He knew Gon would hear it.

"I'm glad!" Gon replied. Killua watched his friend's knees bend as he crouched low. "I'm coming!"

Gon's legs straightened like a powerful, unfolding coil. He flew up, and kicked his legs against the wall opposite Killua. He bounded towards the roof edge next to Killua's feet. Fingers clung to the stone outcropping. 

"Gon!" Killua shouted, and dropped to his knees. He reached down, and grabbed both of Gon's gripping arms.

"Whoa!" Gon shouted, as Killua pulled his friend up, and over the side. The momentum of Gon's scrabbling body, and Killua's strength, sent both boys flying backwards onto the roof. 

Killua landed painfully against the gritty surface of the roof. He smelled that warm, soft, alive smell of leaves and cedar bark. Gon's smell. He saw Gon's two eyes and sharply sloped nose and rose gold lips. Gon blinked, grimaced, and smiled. Killua looked down. Gon had collapsed on top of him. Gon jammed his knees and elbows painfully into Killua's chest and arms and legs. 

"Oh, Killua!" Gon said, and scrambled to his feet. 

Killua looked around. He looked everywhere but at Gon standing in front of him. He'd been listening for the sound of any more rotors or spheres. Right now, he just heard the bustle of a city street, and some concerned shouts from passersby who saw the remnants of the sphere's mangled shape on the sidewalk below. 

Coast was clear on the spooky, floating camera front. The most dangerous obstacle stood before him in green shorts, and a tight, black cotton tank top. 

Gon had followed him. Gon saw a sphere that resembled the one from the previous night. He could hear, or see, or - hell - smell Killua's fear. He reacted with his Hunter's instincts. 

None of that needed addressing. They both felt the answers pass between them like infrared beams. 

"How?" Killua said. He had been balancing on one bent knee. He pressed his left hand against his thigh. He felt his fingers shake. He looked up, and blocked the glare of the morning sun from his eyes with his other hand. 

Gon's dark silhouette shrugged.

"It's a long story," Gon replied. Killua couldn't make out the details of Gon's face against the glare, but he could hear Gon's nervous excitement. He could imagine Gon's smile brimming with too many feelings at once. 

"Here," Gon said. He stuck his hand out. Killua reached for it, reflexively. He wrapped his fingers around Gon's wrist, and felt the tiny pulse under his palm. He stood up, and put his hands in his pockets. 

Gon stood still on his two sturdy legs. He held that reliable, white fishing rod in his right hand. His fingers of his left hand awkwardly fidgeted with the flap of his short's pocket. 

It had been two years since Killua and Gon stood together, alone. Killua was now definitely the taller boy. He had to tip his head down to look into Gon's eyes. Or, he would have to, if he could manage to hold Gon's gaze for any length of time. 

"I need to go find my sister, Gon," Killua said. "So, you can tell me about it on the way."

"Really?!" Gon said. He brought his hands together, and quickly telescoped the fishing rod, and reached behind to place the rod in its rightful spot hanging from his backpack.

Killua nodded, without focusing on any one feature of Gon's face. He turned back in the direction of the hotel. He couldn't use the full strength of his aura to run if Gon was going to follow him. He stepped up onto the roof's raised ledge.

"I won't be a burden, Killua," Gon said to Killua's back. Killua turned so quickly his brain jangled in his head. He realized with a jar, as his foot awkwardly stepped back, there was nothing underneath to support it but the empty city sky. 

"Killua!" 

Two arms grabbed Killua around his waist, and for the second time, both young men toppled backwards onto the roof. Killua felt Gon's hard chest against his own, his strong arms under his hands, and Gon's soft neck under his lips. 

_Crack_

"Ouch!" Killua shouted, and leapt backwards. Gon scrambled out from underneath him.

"Are you okay?" Gon said. Killua could smell the static remnants of his ignited aura. 

"Me? I'm the one who just blasted you," Killua replied, distraught at himself, continuing to feel overwhelmed by the events of the last 24 hours. 

"I'm fine! It just tingled a little," Gon said. "Killua, your aura is still so beautiful and strong. You must be training really hard."

"My aura is..." Killua murmured. He felt his cheeks turn warm and pink. Gon climbed to his knees, and gently rubbed his upper arm with his other hand. Killua looked down. It must been his bandaged hand, sticky and moist with blood and medicine. It must have conducted his startled aura directly into Gon's skin. 

"Fuck, I didn't mean to..." Killua continued. And then he stopped. "How?" Killua repeated the question. "How do you know what it looks like?"

In response, Gon muttered something that swept through Killua's stomach like a wave of motion sickness. 

"Gyo!"

Two golden halos encircled Gon's eyes. Killua gasped.

Gon's Nen, his aura, his potential, died 2 years ago. Killua watched it die. He watched Gon's body transform into something beyond time, beyond reality.

He held Gon's body to his own as blood and life drained out of every pore. He watched the strong, healthy 14 year old boy age into a centenarian over the course of hours. He cried until he vomited, and he cried again when the stink of vomit and Gon's rotting body combined in his nose and mouth. 

Killua felt sick. He made a fist, and held it against his heaving stomach. 

"Oh," Gon said. He blinked his eyes, dispersing the concentrated aura. The expression on Gon's face nearly brought Killua to his knees. 

Gon looked like he'd just seen his worst fear come true. 

Killua had to run, right now. He couldn't stand to face his friend like this. He couldn't stand to demonstrate such shameful weakness.

Gon brought his shoulders up to his ears. Killua could sense him building up to say something stubborn, and brave, and ill-advised.

"I'm not leaving you, again," Gon said, emphasizing the pause between each word as much as the words themselves. Killua could have imagined him stomping his foot in frustration.

Killua's breath began to even out as the adrenaline left his system. Looking at Gon's face stirred up reflexes that, while slow from sitting and gathering dust for years, still flexed without asking.

"Idiot," Killua said. He released his fist, and slipped the relaxed hand into his pocket. He looked at his other, bandaged hand. He felt the cuts on his palm pulse between pain, and the irritating itch of healing. "It'll be safer together, right now, probably."

Gon must have been unconsciously holding his breath. Killua heard the air leave Gon's mouth in a whoosh, and watched his shoulders sag.

"Good," Gon said. "I can't actually chase you if you decide to run away at full speed!"

Gon's voice shook, but he smiled. 

Killua returned the smile. It felt good to do that. He wished it didn't. He wished he could stay mad, and stay cold, and stay away. 

"Damn right, so we'll just have to stay on alert as we move, okay?" Killua said, and turned to face his destination, still many miles away. He didn't have to see Gon to know he nodded, and stepped into position next to him. 

"Ready?" Killua asked. 

"Born ready," Gon said. He chuckled. Killua laughed, too. Time started to flow backwards as the two friends began moving from roof top to roof top with effortless bounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aka "The one where the robots show up." I apologize, ahead of time. I'm weak for two things. Killugon, and robots. So it was basically inevitable. 
> 
> I love everyone's kind comments! You can also lay me flat with your disgust, should you choose, I can take it. *Gets into fisicuffs pose*
> 
> Also feel free to join me on tumblr! I like to post my writerly ramblings there, too. murderxbaby.tumblr.com.


	6. A Canary

No matter how expensive a hotel room was, the curtains always looked and felt chintzy. Transient luxury could never hold a candle to the real thing.

Canary laughed at herself, out loud. How presumptuous of her. She could still remember clearly the taste of filthy, gritty puddle water. The first rain in weeks would become a treasure beyond price. Easily worth fighting to the death for. She remembered when the hot, nauseating relief of finally quenching her thirst tasted as luxurious as the most expensive bottle of wine. 

Leaving Meteor City behind, the city where the world's refuse all eventually gathered, meant leaving behind one life, and being born anew. Perhaps only a child discarded from birth, surrounded by nothing but other hungry, scrambling, primal beasts, would see the now arduous beyond measure life as a Zoldyck family butler to be a positive transformation.

The Zoldyck family, assassins and a royal family of the underworld, employed hundreds of specially trained staff. The most important, and most dangerous, members of the household staff were the butlers. Men and women were recruited from the most dangerous parts of the world to train to acquire the title of butler. Countless die in the attempt. 

The woman who had approached Canary with the offer to join this illustrious group had impressed her with poise, grace, and a beautiful command of Canary's language. She also effortlessly cold cocked most of the members of the gang of fellow street urchins which Canary commanded with an iron will, and a willingness to defend loyalty with her own blood and broken teeth. 

"You're better than this place," the woman told her. "My masters can give you the opportunity to become your best self. To become strong." 

Canary had never really believed there was any place where other humans lived beyond the giant, sweltering hellscape of Meteor City. Cruel gods, or demons, were the ones who sent the city its discarded treasures. What human could stand to let something like pallets of only slightly rotten food be snatched from their hands? Or clothing that was old, but not torn to bits? Or, as she could still remember with a dizzying and pleasant shiver, unopened packages of sweet, red candy drops. Only omnipotent, careless, foolish deities could do such a thing.

The stories of other countries and cities and people sounded to Canary like something soft and weak that unfit mothers told their starving children when their breasts dried up, and they could offer nothing more than hot sand. 

It meant nothing to Canary to leave this place behind. Leaving Meteor City meant death. Canary had never feared death. She feared helplessness. 

Traveling through the air during her first airship ride felt exactly like Canary's favorite types of dreams. Unbroken sleep meant Canary had managed, for at least one night, to escape from running away, from fear, from the freezing sweat of playing dead as every limb went numb waiting for drunken, violent men to stagger away, and hoping that dead girls weren't their preference. 

As Canary looked down at the changing landscape, she saw the piles of discarded refuse shrink, and separate, and eventually she didn't see them at all. In their place, green and blue and rich brown covered the ground. 

It looked like the bundles of paper that Canary had used countless times to start fires. She didn't understand the meaning of the scribbles all over them, only the very old tended to remember that stuff, and the images they were covered in looked even more like meaningless nonsense. A place where water doesn't just never evaporate, but pools up in large enough volumes to crash against rocks? People with clothing that looked as shiny as plastic packaging? Clearly it was just another way the gods saw fit to distract the helpless. 

The woman who'd found Canary sat in a small room. A room where Canary could close the door, and the woman promised no one else could come in unless they were invited. 

"What are you thinking about?" asked the woman seriously. She had a face that looked disarmingly plain. When Canary didn't look at her directly, she drew no more attention to herself than the upholstery of the couch she currently sat on. 

Canary turned around, and folded her arms behind her back. It had been a bad, nervous habit since she was small, but it felt comfortable. It often made her look smaller, and weaker, than she actually was. She'd used that illusion to her advantage many times. 

"I guess I'm not dead," Canary said, after thinking about what she could truthfully say. "Or, if I am dead, it doesn't really feel that different from being alive."

The woman spoke the specific and lyrical patois that Canary used with perfect fluency, and a gorgeous accent. She had drawn attention throughout the city as an obvious outsider. Her clothing, functional but still new, would have been enough to paint a giant target on her back. She was very tall, and looked very strong. That rarely ended well, unless you could back it up. Coming from far enough away that her accent couldn't be placed in one of the sprawling districts of the city meant she was immediately sized up as easy prey.

Canary had thought so, too. Pick pocketing the few elaborately dressed crazy people who wandered through the city from time to time, pretending to be from somewhere even further than the few secure suburbs, was a rare pleasure. Canary managed it easily. 

When she looked at the note she'd lifted, inside of the otherwise empty wallet, it said this:

"You're good. If you can read this, meet me at the old church in the center of Old Town."

Or, at least, that's what the woman would later tell her it meant. The lady actually blushed with slight embarrassment later when she realized Canary couldn't read it.

However, apparently Canary had impressed her enough that the woman hunted her down herself. She'd appeared the next day in front of the gang's hideout. Canary had managed to secure a brief snippet of guarded shut eye when she heard shouts and heads knocking together. 

The plain faced woman moved among the crowd of thugs, some much older and bigger than Canary. She looked anything but plain as she fought. Her movements wasted not an ounce of energy. She didn't appear angry or afraid. She moved with purpose. 

Canary realized that purpose, not bravery, was the opposite of helplessness. 

"It's clear you're a cut above," the woman said to Canary, as Canary stood bent in half, staring into the pool of her own blood. Her mouth tasted her defeat with every swallow of her own metallic blood. Yet the woman didn't finish the job. She offered Canary her hand. 

"Let me tell you who I work for, and why we're interested in you."

"Hmmm," said the woman, in the present unreality of this flying room. "My name is Tsubone, by the way."

Canary blinked. They hadn't told each other their names, had they? Canary hadn't ever told anyone her name. No one had ever given Canary a name. Her street gang called her "Boss." People trying to kill her generally just yelled "Girl!" 

She had named herself Canary, though. She'd learned it from overhearing one of those weak, worthless women who sang songs to their infants. She couldn't remember the entire song, but she remembered this line.

_"And when it's all turned gray, and nothing else sleeps, remember the canary's song, it'll find what thee seeks."_

Canary would always be the last one standing. 

"I'm...Canary?" she said. She realized that saying it for the first time out loud had turned the statement into a question. Tsubone's sharp ears certainly hadn't missed it, but her eyes returned Canary's gaze with stoicism. 

"That's a fine name," Tsusbone said. "Do you know what a canary is?"

Canary didn't. 

"They're beautiful, tiny, yellow birds," Tsubone said. 

"Birds?" Canary replied. "You mean those gross hunks of fat and feather that fall out of the sky?"

Tsubone blinked, her stoicism lifting for a moment. 

"I suppose I have forgotten myself. Birds are the names of those creatures when they're still alive. Like most creatures, they don't survive for long in Meteor City."

Canary pressed her thumbnail to her lip. 

"How do they get into the sky?"

"They fly," Tsubone said. She gestured towards the window. "Just like what we're doing now."

"They fly...by themselves?" Canary gasped. She'd managed to hold in her amazement well so far. Surprise meant you hadn't seen something before. Not having seen something before meant you hadn't fought it before, or dismantled it, or ripped it to pieces to find the useful, warm insides. Being surprised was identical to being helpless.

However, this idea felt more profoundly alien than anything else she'd learned yet today. 

"Yes, they certainly do," Tsubone continued. "However, most canaries these days are actually pets. Humans own them, and keep them in cages."

Canary gasped, again. That idea terrified Canary. She didn't really know what to picture in her mind as a real canary, so she couldn't help but imagine herself, naked and alone and locked inside metal bars. Canary had certainly watched other children scooped up in such devices during slaver's raids, but she'd always outrun anyone who tried to chase her. 

"Hmmm," Tsubone whispered. She nodded, and spoke louder. "Birds don't belong in cages."

Canary turned around, and looked out the window. Was this flying machine just the first cage that Canary had been caught inside?

Perceptive Tsubone stepped beside Canary, and placed a large hand on her shoulder. 

"You aren't my prisoner, Canary. You will soon be my student. And when you're done, no one and nothing will be powerful enough to keep you locked away."

Canary, more than a decade later, looked outside of this hotel's window. Like the window in that first airship she'd traveled on, she could see a brand new world unfold in front of her eyes. 

The city below was certainly not unfamiliar to Canary. She'd traveled here on business in the past as a butler. Now, though, she traveled here under quite different circumstances. On its face, though, it was the same. She turned back to face the room.

Dozing peacefully in the huge bed lay Alluka Zoldyck. A scrawny, gorgeous child who had grown like a weed in the past few years. She was as tall as Canary, and might soon be almost as tall as Alluka's much taller brother. She had just turned thirteen a month ago. She'd always been small looking for her age, though, just like Canary. 

Unlike Canary's dark complexion, Alluka's skin appeared to be untouched by the sun. Not for lack of trying, these days. Alluka's favorite pastime was exploring the cities and villages through which the trio traveled. Never staying in one place long, Alluka still insisted on finding all of the hidden nooks and crannies of any place she lived. She would take photos, and then sketch the results until early hours of the morning. She would pull Canary and Killua into holes-in-the-wall for amazing food, or tiny antique shops where they'd find remarkable pieces of art. 

The young girl had grown up in a cage more horrifying than the metal bars Canary had imagined during that first journey through the sky with Tsubone. Trapped by fear, and misunderstanding. Alone to grapple with the incredible gifts she'd be born with. Misunderstood and used. 

Now, Alluka glowed with inner life. Unlike Canary and Killua Zoldyck, Canary's boss, Alluka's older brother, and runaway heir to the family's destiny, Alluka had a gentle, harmless nature. Her dream was to become an artist. She spent almost the entire allowance Killua gave her on art supplies, and fabric to make clothes. She'd even tried to insist on making Canary a dress.

"Miss, I don't really need a dress. My uniform is better suited to the task," Canary had said. She smiled with delight, all the same. Alluka's generosity could be hard to deny. For many reasons. 

"Oh, but you'd be so pretty in this color," Alluka said, pointing to a rich shade of blue she'd used to color the sketch she'd made. Canary looked closer, and saw how stunningly accurate the drawing was. It made Canary feel a familiar panic. 

Every time someone tells you you're beautiful, they're trying to get something of yours that doesn't belong to them. 

Beauty was weakness. It left you helpless. 

Of course, Alluka meant absolutely nothing by this. She was simply doing what her nature had designed her to do - make the world around her more beautiful. 

"Thank you, Miss. I promise, if I do ever need a dress, I'll ask you first," Canary said. 

Alluka looked over her shoulder at Killua, sprawled on the huge bed in another luxury suite in some other large, expensive, chintzy hotel room across the world. 

"Hey, brother, don't you think Canary should let me make her a dress? Wouldn't she look great?" 

Killua kept looking at the screen of his phone that he held high over his head. He had one leg bent, with the foot of his other leg resting on it. He had the same impossibly pale skin and crystal clear, blue eyes of Alluka, but none of her warm, generous energy. He was deeply kind, but he gave off the impression of being surrounded by panes of thick cut glass. You could look in, but you couldn't really see the true person without waves of subtle distortion. 

"She already looks great," Killua said. "Besides, the jacket I told you to make for me isn't finished. Eyes on the prize, cutie." 

Canary had to bite her lip until she worried it would shred under her teeth. She felt that same helplessness on two fronts. She didn't want to be beautiful. She wanted desperately for him to find her beautiful. Neither could end in anything but miserable disaster.

She bit her lip now, too, thinking about that embarrassing memory. 

Killua Zoldyck had featured heavily in Canary's daydreams for years and years. It was just confusing, but harmless, at first. Soon, it stopped being harmless. After that, she had to actively work to smother it into a slight, distant ache.

When he extended the invitation to leave the Zoldyck estate, and become Alluka's personal attendant and body guard, they both immediately understood what that meant. 

It meant an even more isolating, arduous life. It meant no home, no safety, and no settling. It also meant finally feeling proud of herself, and not simply satisfied to continue living.

What they did not both understand, what instead was Canary's burden to carry alone, was that Canary had been in love with Killua since they were children. To absolutely no helpful end, in any way, for either of them. 

In some ways, being forced to grapple with the daily reality of spoiled, self-centered, obnoxious, and over-the-top Killua Zoldyck had done a good job of dulling some of the more fantastically sharp edges of her previous daydreams. 

And then he would say some thoughtless, respectful, admiring, and sincere thing, very, very occasionally, and it felt like she'd just been spun in place so fast she was dizzy.

Waiting for Killua to come back now felt dizzying, too. She knew that this situation wasn't simply going to require them to pick up and move cities again. It felt like something else entirely had happened. Some transition from one life, to another. Much like leaving Meteor City, and again just like the day she'd resigned as an official Zoldyck butler to go on the lam with the presumed heir and his renegade sister. 

"Miss," Canary said, softly. She stepped closer to the bed. "I know we had a late night, but it's time to wake up." 

"Mmmmm..." Alluka said. Canary knew the girl was awake, but knew, too, that she would resist this new request to leave the city so soon after arriving. "Your brother will be here any minute, and it'll be best if we're ready to go right away."

"Brother will?" Alluka said, with her still slightly awkward, childish cadence. Alluka sat up, and rubbed her eyes with her fingers. "Well, fine, I guess. Maybe he'll take us to breakfast!"

"It's almost noon, but I'm sure we could find a place," Canary said, laughing. Alluka scooted out of the large bed, and trotted off to the bathroom to change. 

Canary began the normal hotel clearing procedures. She wiped down anything and everything that might have their fingerprints. She ripped every piece of linen off the bed, and crumbled it into a ball. They'd toss it in the bathtub before they left, to ensure the cleaning folks actually took it to the laundry, and didn't just remake the bed. 

She carefully counted out a much larger than normal tip to make sure they didn't mind the extra burden. Unhappy hotel staff could become the most dangerous evidence of all.

Her phone jingled. Only one number had a special ring in Canary’s phone. 

"Cupcake!" shouted the owner of the phone number programmed with a special ring in Canary's phone. 

"Dear, I know it's you."

"Goddammit, Canary," hissed Amane, a full-fledged butler in the Zoldyck household, one of the youngest ever promoted from assistant status. "We have a password because you know how easy it is to mimic someone's voice."

A snuffling snort escaped Canary's mouth, but she swallowed it quickly, and set her words in place with her even, professional tone. 

"'Creamy frosting,'" Canary said, serenely. She heard Amane pause, stifling her own giggle. "What can I help you with, Ms. Amane?"

"Just call me Amane, first off, and second, Killua wasn't at the hotel last night, was he?"

The hairs on the back of Canary's neck stood up. Occasionally, of course, the ubiquitous Zoldyck security apparatus designed to follow all of the Zoldyck children would catch up to them. In and of itself, it didn't necessarily offer much to be concerned about. The trio moved frequently enough, and with Canary's insights and Killua's constantly working mind, they could outwit it. Even so, every time Amane shared this kind of news, Canary felt her pulse race, and her palms sweat. 

The system catching sight of them after tonight, the most unusual night she'd experienced in Killua and Alluka's company yet, had to be a terrible sign. 

"I won't confirm or deny that," Canary replied, her voice chilling ever so slightly.

Amane gave a huff of frustration, but Canary could hear the whoosh as the phone dipped with her contact's nodding head. 

"Regardless, it seems they've received some reliable information about where he WAS last night, and it's clear there's a huge scene there this morning"

Canary was a professional. She was serious to a fault, without question, sometimes. Sometimes, she wished she could ease up on herself. In this moment, though, the tightly held reins offered her stability and comfort. This was unexpected, and dangerous, and she was fully capable of handling it. 

"Scene?"

"Mafia. Witnesses report some kind of explosion in one of the upper level apartments."

"Anything else?"

Amane met Canary's tone with her own suddenly deep and serious tone. Amane's voice tended to veer in two extreme directions. Her smooth and competent professional voice was the most common one, but Canary immediately missed the sweet, deeply silly, very awkward girl who had quickly become her best friend. That said, it was reassuring to know this was serious enough that even Amane wasn't fucking around. 

"Witnesses report streaks of blue light, and another explosion about 10 blocks away."

Canary pressed her middle finger into the point of pain that suddenly bloomed in the middle of her forehead. 

"Amane, I'll contact you when we know more on our end, okay?"

"Canary, I..."

Amane's voice flipped, instantly, like a light switch was connected to it, from the dark of her all business self, to the awkward, stuttering girl Canary had grown to like so much. 

"Hmm? I need to get moving, dear."

"Be careful. Take care of them, okay?"

Canary nodded. Amane's voice could be so soft, sometimes, that she almost couldn't hear it. Her heart softened in reflection. 

"I will. You take care of you, too. Thank you. I never take these conversations for granted."

"Mmm. See you," Amane finished, and Canary heard the snap of the burner phone Amane was using as it closed. 

Every time, lately, when she hung up on Amane, she found herself blinking in very brief, dizzying confusion. As if the phone call had swept her back to her old home. Her first home. It felt comfortable, in some way that didn't quite manage to coalesce into firm thoughts. 

She pressed her finger against her forehead again. Today, of all days, offered no time for reverie. 

"Alluka, sweet pea, get ready as soon as you can, okay?"

"'Kaaaaay!" echoed Alluka's melodic voice over the hushed roar of the shower. 

At first, when Canary heard it, she figured that some nearby TV must have been left on at max volume. A loud, swooping crash filtered into Canary's consciousness beat by beat. She stepped towards the window. Without a purpose, which was unusual. Something unusual pierced her awareness, though, so she sought out the irregularity. 

The curtains pulled to keep the room dark and private folded back stiffly against the back of Canary's hand.

Clear, blue summer skies with no clouds were so bright that Canary had to squint to see the distortions.

Grey, blurred clouds of smoke poured into the sky. A column of distraction pointing to some multistory building a few blocks away.

A distant darting flash. Canary doubted her eyes for a moment, but that meant her reflexes kicked in automatically. She activated her aura, and watched the sky again. 

Blue streaks of Killua's electrified aura jumped into the column of smoke from a nearby rooftop. 

Her conjured cane extended in a straight line from her hand as her feet and legs moved automatically towards the exit. 

Alluka stepped into Canary's path at that moment, tying her second pig tail back with a ribbon.

"Okay, sweet pea, hop in."

Alluka pursed her lips, and Canary could almost hear the protest waiting in her tremulous thoat. However, 

Canary's eyes must have conveyed the seriousness of the situation. Alluka nodded.

"We're ready," Alluka said, as she always did when Canary was serious about a command. It meant she, and her other self, were also serious, and going to do their best to be obedient.

Alluka touched the nearly translucent, yellow orb at the top of Canary's cane. Canary blinked, and the girl had disappeared.

Without another look at the room, Canary slipped out of the door, and ran towards the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter written. I ran through my backlog, and now I have to write NEW things. Boo and grumph.
> 
> I'm excited, though. The full shape of the plot is forming in my head. This might end up really long??? I guess we'll see how far I can go. 
> 
> I'd love to read your comments! Thank you for reading!


	7. A Creature

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a teeeensy bit of tinkering to the last chapter to make my continuity hang together a little better. So much so you wouldn't even notice it. But, just had to be honest! The process in action folks.

Gon had kept up with Killua just like the old days. Just like the old days. Gon's Nen was weaker, and sputtered at times, like when a faucet opens after months of disuse, but it was still undeniably Nen. 

The hotel Alluka and Canary would have moved to was in another borough of the city. Killua gestured with a flick of his wrist and a nod. Gon nodded back. Fully in tune. Just like the old days.

They hopped into an empty parking lot, and started jogging. 

It was a weekend morning, so the only other people the pair saw were dog walkers and strolling families. The weather was clear and beautiful. The day would be hot, before too much longer, but felt pleasant and calm now. 

Killua considered how they must look. He was over dressed for it in his jacket, tight black pants and long sleeve top, but still probably no more suspicious than any couple of teenage boys out for a morning run would be. 

"Fun..." Gon hummed, lightly. "This is so fun, Killua."

"Fun?" Killua replied, sharply. He looked to his right. Gon looked forward, and smiled. 

"Being with you is fun, Killua!"

"Dude, you just got stabbed in the neck by a fucking robot last night. Was that fun?"

Gon considered the question seriously, Killua could tell. He let out a small sound as he thought about his answer. 

"It wasn't boring!"

"Ha!" Killua laughed, quickly and without thinking. 

Things with Gon could never be boring, for long.

Case in point.

It happened so quickly that Killua only remembered the disabling emptiness in his head as his ears rang uselessly. 

"This is..." Killua heard Gon say, through the thudding pain in his ears. 

"Chimera Ant...?"

"What?!" Killua shouted. He had been ready to turn the corner as they approached a T where the road split into two different directions. Over the edge of the road was a tall, steep hill covered in scrub and sickly, city trees, and overlooking a wide, busy highway.

Yellowing leaves flew into the air like shrapnel. Gon jumped up and out of the corner of Killua's vision as the quiet morning exploded in an aural assault.

A roar, and then deafening nothing. Killua threw both hands up to cover his ears, but it offered only feeble protection against the waves of painful sound. His eyes blinked shut as his brain rattled against his skull.

Killua's legs could move without a fully functional brain, at least. He jumped up, and away, to the opposite side of the road. He gathered aura around his hands, and under his feet, as he collided with the ground. His knees and ankles bent under his weight. 

He immediately unbent his legs. His stood. He opened his eyes.

A crater left a jagged circle of dirt covered with thick hunks of black asphalt. Something, curled and alien, unfolded in the middle of the broken road. Segments flopped up, one after the other, each movement accompanied by wet, sucking noises.

The creature's flesh was the putrefying color of white maggot flesh. It smelled sweetly of rot, and as the final segment unfolded, the being stood nearly 6 meters tall. At the top, a round head with a wide mouth, filled with sharp teeth and framed by interlocking pincers, released that same deafening noise.

Killua's stomach turned over. He still felt weak from the previous night.

Killua stood prepared this time against the second round of horrifying noise. He  
jammed his fingers into his ears. He bowed his head, and waited until his skin stopped vibrating.

A million questions needed answering, but only one mattered right now.

"Gon?!" Killua shouted, not caring how loud he was. Not caring how it was certain to attract curious, vulnerable bystanders.

_Where is he?_

Aura gathered in Killua's eyes. He could not extend his aura away from his body far enough to do anything useful. He didn't know what he was looking for.

_Where is Gon?_

The creature stood on two thick legs, bent at monstrously sharp angles. It leaned away from Killua. No eyes were visible on that round head, but it was clearly looking for something.

"Gon?!"

The creature used Nen. Aura coated its body like slick, dripping slime. That sensation sank quickly, and sickeningly, into Killua's unsteady stomach.

_Where is he?!_

Fighting the urge to be sick, Killua searched the chaotic scene. Cars stopped fast as startled drivers stared up at the hulking monster. Horns honked. The creature didn't respond at all. No eyes, and no ears?

The creature moved. Jerky and impossible to predict. It straightened, and then fell forward, and then flopped back. Killua had to move, too.

"Goddammit, Gon!" Killua shouted, and turned. He ran along the side of the road, eyes darting between the creature, and into the bushes and hidden gaps between the houses and buildings.

A creaking, startling snap, like a tree branch breaking in the middle of a thunderstorm, announced the creature's next move. The long, horrible body fell in front of Killua with a loud, sickening crash. 

Killua activated his aura, and jumped. The creature's head curled back. Something caught Killua's foot, mid air, like thick, sucking mud.

Almost like branches snapping, Killua heard the thick leather of his shoes creak under the strain of his body pulling them. He looked down, as his body's momentum swung him around the creature's long frame. 

The aura surrounding the creature held the soles of Killua's shoes like they were trapped by solid cement.

If he had taken even a millisecond longer to activate his own aura, Killua would be trapped against the creature's side by unbreakable, concrete solid aura. 

Killua flew backwards, then, as his legs pivoted painfully, and his aura blasted him away from the creature. Two dark black scorch marks were left in the creature's skin where Killua's aura connected with the sickly pale skin. 

Stronger and faster than a bull whip, the creature reared up after feeling Killua's aura. 

Deeper and more spine shaking than an awakening jet engine, the creature roared, and curled up, straight in the air. 

Killua braced his legs. He bent in half, to try and loosen the laces of his shoes. He flapped in the wind like a flag hanging from the creature's pole body. 

He was nearly free. Killua had lifted one foot out of his shoe when wind and sound crashed against him. 

The creature crouched low, so low, that its belly touched the ground. 

Two legs more powerful than the largest, tightest coiled springs, launched the two of them through the air, over the side of the cliff next to the city's main, crowded freeway. 

"Killua!"

The creature's body bowed when Gon's body collided with it.

"Gon! No!" Killua shouted, without seeing exactly what was happening. He pictured Gon trapped, flailing alongside him, and his body tingled as his aura sparked.

"Hold on, just hold on..." Gon said.

The three of them flew through the air. Killua saw the racing cars and pavement hurtling towards them.

With a lurch Killua could hear and feel, the creature's body changed course in the air. Now the creatures presumable head pointed towards the sky. The legs below curved, and braced for impact.

Like an arrow, the creature aimed for the brackish, sloping curve of hill next to the freeway. Killua focused his aura into his feet, hoping the jolt of their collision might interrupt the flow of the aura long enough to launch free.

Three things happened at once.

The legs like dangerous, giant springs slammed into the gray and brown earth.

The creature's aura blinked, shifting and changing in a heartbeat. Killua's feet were freed, sending Killua crashing to the ground near the creature's slamming feet.

Something unreal and beyond comprehension tore from the creature's body. A cry, and a scream, and a piteous moan. Killua heard the cry, before his wind was knocked out of him.

Blinking, though, with the training and experience of years and years behind his reflexes, Killua activated his Gyo, directing his aura into his eyes, allowing him to see the flow of the creature's aura.

Something Killua had never seen before happened next.

The creature's aura started at the feet, readying itself to launch into the air again. As it flowed in thick, viscous waves up over the creature's body, another aura flared into life.

It was the feeling of sunshine magnified by glass, hot and unfailing against his skin. It was the feeling of being watched by two gentle, admiring eyes. It was the feeling of making a horrible, terrible mistake, and then the sensation of relief washing over his skin like cool water.

It was Gon's aura.

Killua had collapsed onto his back. He bent his neck up. He moved as quickly as he could to stand again. The creature's sucking aura was grey and green. It began mixing and muddling the golden aura Killua discovered surrounding Gon's body.

"Gon!" Killua shouted.

Gon looked over at Killua's voice. Killua watched him shake his head. He watched Gon's long arms reach around the creature's neck, tighter and tighter. He watched the auras mix, like thunder clouds, turning the air into a hissing, crackling storm. The creature continued to coil against the ground.

Killua leaped towards them. The pair flew off, in one long, springing shot, far away and over the freeway, leaving the sucking, dizzying mix of their auras waking behind.

Traffic had slowed, as drivers braked, some of them gawking, others pulling out phones with others, probably others calling emergency numbers. Killua huffed, and ignited his aura. He sat off at a sprinting leap, easily clearing the 8 lanes of traffic. He hoped it was too fast for anyone to take a picture, and upload it. The last thing he needed today was him with blue, spiked hair flying over traffic at full speed.

It was impossible to lose track of the trail of the creature and Gon's combined aura. Despite using his aura to fly across the highway, and vault up and over into the busy, thickly developed city center beyond, he could still follow the two of them without using Gyo.

He knew that all an average person could see would be the still utterly improbable sight of a teenage boy riding a mutant mess straight out of a low-budget horror flick, but he could intuit that all felt the same bubbling, draining dread he felt.

Like tottering on the side of a ledge without quite falling. Or like a tight squeeze of tension right before an examination.  
The creature twirled in the air like a ribbon, or a piece of string. He knew Gon could hold on. He hoped Gon could hold on. He didn't know anything about Gon, anymore, really.

Killua knew he didn't have enough aura to keep this up for much long. His legs shook as he asked more of them.

Long and white and whipping through the air, the creature darted between high-rise condos and skyscrapers. From street level, Killua watched the creature dodge between buildings, it's feet careening behind, slamming with huge, painful crashes into the sides of buildings.

Glass and steel shards exploded into clouds of razors. Screams from the people in the building and on the sidewalks and streets below trail behind.

The issue isn't his speed. Killua vaults over traffic and cars, over the heads of pedestrians that hear the crackle of his aura, and see nothing but a dark blur.

He looks up, and the issue is how the creature's momentum keeps it moving between the uppermost stories of the buildings.

Against the white, undulating flesh, he could see a brown and green figure holding on. The creature's sticky aura must have helped to keep Gon firmly seated, but Killua knew Gon must have had something in mind when he jumped on the creature's shoulder.

The dread is everywhere. Every breath is a stinging reminder of it.

Killua turns to see his blur reflected in the shining, glass sides of the buildings, and inspiration strikes.  
Ahead, the tallest building looms before Killua on the ground, and the creature hopping and scrambling through the air above.

With a loud exhale, Killua re-calibrated his aura. Instead of sending his aura throughout his body to power his muscles beyond their normal limitations, he focused it carefully into his feet and hands.

Killua remembered some late nights with a physics textbook and notepads covered with scribbles, and hoped it paid off today.

More people screamed as debris flew through the air. The sickening feeling hovered closer. Killua looked at the direction the shards of glass and steel fell from, and saw the being disappear over the edge of that tallest building's roof.

Speed picked up using nothing more than Killua's natural athleticism. People managed to dive out of the way, and the path was clear as he ran straight towards the buildings brick foundation.

Bright morning sky filled Killua's vision as he jump into the air. His feet slammed into the hard brick. He kept running, jamming his eyes shut as he anticipated the next moment of cloudy blue canopying his disastrous, painful fall.

Instead, he kept moving, up and up. The connection between his aura and the wall held him fast. His every step needed to be careful, each sole connecting to the wall, and then the steel and glass with care, so he didn't smash his legs through them and land in a tipped over water cooler.

Focusing on his aura, and running carefully, it took Killua a few full minutes to scale the side of the building. His jacket flapped against his back, and the shifting air currents whipped against his hair and eyes.

Lunging up, Killua grabbed the ridge surrounding the building's roof. He pulled himself up and over, and considered how much aura that maneuver just cost him. His body was tender all over like a healing bruise. 

Hot, thick liquid splashed Killua's chest and arms as he hopped over the edge. He flared his aura defensively, at least what remained of it, and threw his arms up defensively.

It wasn't blood, but its smell meant it was some kind of body fluid. Killua grimaced. He looked between his two bent arms, and saw his target. 

The creature's head turned towards him, clearly it must be a head, because there was that horrifying mouth, wide open, and foaming. Killua realized it was the creature's spit covering him. Naturally, it had already begun to sizzle through the polyester fabric of his jacket. He ripped it off, and tossed it aside. 

Killua heard Gon's familiar grunts of exertion before he saw two strong arms claw their way around the creature's neck. Climbing up like it was the trunk of a tree, Gon's black hair popped up behind the creature's head.

Lines of razor teeth came together and snapped apart so forcefully Killua could hear the tissues and bones and whatever else the creature was made of creak. The pincer opened and closed slowly. It dripped with that viscous, sharp smelling liquid. 

Gon's arms were covered in it. Killua grit his teeth thinking how much it must hurt. 

The snapping stopped. The mouth closed. Suddenly, like an air raid siren, the world filled with awful noise. From deep in that creature's body, it cried out as if every organ and cell burned in a fire. 

Killua blinked his eyes closed, and shoved his palms over his ears. 

Over that deafening noise, Killua heard Gon cry out. Shouting, but clearly attempting a soothing undertone. 

"It's okay, it's going to be okay. I promise, you'll be okay, I just need to..."

As Killua forced his eyes open, Gon had swung his body around. His back faced Killua, and his hands were gently rubbing the creature's face. The pincers could have snapped together, and severed each of Gon's hands. They didn't. 

Killua stepped closer. His body's senses all activated as if he was walking into a large, open air bath, or hot spring. 

Killua reactivated his Gyo. 

The creature's nen still looked and flowed like thick ooze. Gon's aura flowed, too, in waves around him. 

The creature's aura was sickening and terrifying. Gon's aura shined like a pulsing light source. It made him think of a blinking light bulb, or headlights through the fog. He couldn't directly process either being’s aura. 

Decreasing his own aura to protect himself from the sight, Killua realized that everywhere Gon touched the creature, their auras combined. Gon's hands massaged against the creature, as if he was trying to encourage this combination. 

Suddenly, the noise stopped. The mouth opened, and the pincers flared. The creature stopped moving. Ominous stillness, for a moment. 

Tipping over, the creature fell towards the roof, taking Gon with it. 

"Gon!" Killua shouted, reactivating his aura, and flying towards the spot where Gon's back was going to collide with the ground. 

"Killua!" Gon shouted, tipping his head back to watch his friend's running approach. He stuck one hand out towards Killua as he fell. 

As the creature fell, Gon's aura continued to glow. Moments from the collision with the roof, Killua's hand touched Gon's arm, and the creature's skin.

The sky turned white. The explosion rang faintly in Killua's ears as his mind filled with the creature's everything. 

\----

Closed circuit television captured the sight of some mysterious creatures crashing into buildings downtown. Leorio hadn't actually intended to watch TV, but holed up in his bedroom after the kids bolted, while Kurapika's flunkies continued their investigation, he flipped the TV on without thinking. 

Who else would be at the center of this? He realized there was probably something he should be able to do with his Nen to make sense of what he was seeing, but it wasn't coming to him. 

"Kurapika?" Leorio gasped out. 

The news announcer mentioned "sightings of a teenage boy being carried off" by the creature, and then the angle on the TV shifted. Now the news helicopter flying nearby showed a top down view of the mysterious situation. 

"Kurapika?!" Leorio said, a little louder. 

A giant centipede with white skin flailed on the roof of one of the tallest buildings in the city. Hanging off its neck like some kind of windsock was a human’s two legs and long torso. 

The reporter had been chattering about something, when suddenly the room filled with horrible noise. Leorio scrambled to find the remote, and mute the speakers, when the news cut back to the studio with mumbled apologies about technical difficulties. With a heaving grunt, Leorio threw himself from his room and into the hallway.

"Kurapika?! Killua and Gon..." Leorio said, directly into the face of Kurapika.

"I know, let me in."

Kurapika swept past Leorio, pulling his shoulder length hair back into a ponytail as he spoke. Leorio heard a metallic clatter, and a reflective shine on Kurapika's right hand. He blinked, and the image disappeared. 

"They were spotted downtown. The news probably just showed some of the public access cameras, but I have the Hunter association feed available, here."

Kurapika swept his head back around to face Leorio, who stood with a gaping mouth. 

"Well?" Kurapika huffed. Leorio cleared his throat, and stepped closer. Kurapika held out his phone. 

On the small screen, another camera, this one actually on the building's roof, showed the creature's long body stand straight up right. From this angle, they watched someone clamber along the creature's tall form. Black hair, deep brown skin, and green shorts.

It had to be Gon.

Their young friend held onto the creature tightly, every muscle in his shoulder and back flexing. 

Both the creature and Gon looked to the left side of the screen. A head with a shock of white hair appeared, stripping off a jacket that suddenly sprouted large holes.

Well, naturally, there was Killua. Leorio looked down, and Kurapika looked up, and their eyes were mirror images of fear and worry. 

Gon continued climbing up the creature's body, until he reached the head. Gon began to touch the creature's face. It almost looked tender. 

"What is he...?" Leorio started. Kurapika shook his head. 

"No idea. But his aura is....something I've never seen before."

Leorio cursed, under his breath. Kurapika looked up. He nodded. 

"Focus your aura in your eyes. Okay? You'll see."

Leorio concentrated, briefly. He felt that tingling shiver he always felt when his aura activated. A bit like stepping into a cold stream, while feeling the sun on his neck, all at once. He imagine that feeling in his eyes. 

Suddenly, he saw the thick, spectral image floating around the creature, like ghostly bile. Inside of that, Gon looked like the sun. Golden, and warbling, with energy that hazed and danced like a campfire. 

"This is....?" Leorio asked.

Kurapika had no time to respond. The creature reacted suddenly. It stiffened, and then tottered over, like a tall pillar knocked down at its base. 

Killua ran forward, shouting. His aura sizzled like lightning. Gon stuck his hand out, as if trying to tell Killua to stop. 

The three on the rooftop came within touching distances of each other. The segmented, white beast froze, bent in half, like a long finger sticking out of the building. Gon dangled from the neck. Killua stood still, too.

Kurapika and Leorio's anxious hearts beat to a count of three, and then the feed ended in a blast of white light.

"We have to...!" Leorio shouted, turning. Kurapika had beat him to the door. 

"Take care of things here! We have to go! I don't know when we'll be back!"

Leorio followed Kurapika out the door as the woman Kurapika shouted out nodded.

"And clean up after yourselves! And take off your damn shoes, you barbarians!" Leorio shouted, over his shoulder, as they slammed the door close behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally updated this! Yay! This was a hard chapter to write, for a lot of reasons, but now that I'm past this part I think I'll be able to keep going for the foreseeable future. This is my biggest project baby, and it's a fun change of pace from the other stuff I write. Let me know your thought! Comments are very much appreciated. 
> 
> murderxbaby.tumblr.com (my internet home!)


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